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The Tales of Zegwar
I can go anywhere I want to do just by imagining it, if you'd like to join me all you have to do is believe. So read what I write, even those few that aren't about my make-believe world of Zegwar. I promise, fun awaits those who dare enter my mind...
Grocery Store Etiquette
Hello, I am cashier at a grocery store. I am sick of my customers. So I wrote this, even though I know none of my customers will read this or care. But I think it’s funny and maybe it will stop other cashiers from killing people.


1) The Express Lane
1 - A: 15 items or less means 15 items or less not 16, 17 or 42
1 - B: If you have more than 15 items you must ask permission to get into the express lane from the cashier working that lane. Do NOT assume that you can. ABSOLUTELY do not start unpacking your groceries and then inform the cashier that you have more than 15 items and then say nothing else.
1 - C: If you have more than 15 items and have gained permission from the cashier to come into the line you should help bag your groceries so you do not hold up the line.
2) The bags
2 - A: Paper or plastic really means plastic
2 - B: Paper bags are more expensive and twice the amount of work and take longer to use because you have to spend more time think about the order you ring things up
2 - C: While people think that the plastic bags are more likely to break it is actually the handles on the paper bags which are attached by weak glue
2 - D: If you don’t want a heavy bag then plastic is not only lighter but smaller so the baggers can fit less in them - the baggers do not try to shove a thousand things into them
2 - E: People are easily suggestible if one person asks for paper many people who see them do that order paper too even if the might have asked for plastic instead, which means continual extra work for the cashier
2 - F: Do not get angry if they suggest you have plastic instead of paper when the cashier asks “Is plastic okay?” Do not yell or scream please just say yes or no. NEVER say you want a bag - plastic bags ARE bags too so if you want paper say paper!
2 - G: Do not be a**l about the way that your items are bagged, baggers bad things they way they think is good and do it the same way that they would their own and things are usually fine and rarely squished or have leaks
3) The Discount Card
3 - A: Do not go digging through your purse or wallet at the beginning or end of the check out. If you do not already have it ready unload your groceries first then get it out why the cashier and bagger go to work. If you wait to get your card the cashier must then wait for the rest of your groceries and cashiers are rated on rings per minute and if you give them your card their count starts and while they are waiting for you their RPMs are going down. If you wait till the end it slows down everyone else.
3 - B: The cashier should only have to ask you once for your discount card it is your responsibility to have with you and have it ready, if it doesn’t get scanned it is your fault. Do not stare yelling at the cashier because they didn’t get it. If you don’t give it to them they cannot scan it and they should not have to ask five times.
3 - C: Please take care of the cards! Cashiers hate having to scan things over and over because they are dirty, broke or faded. If your card is damaged please know that is just as free as the first one so it would save everyone a lot of time of trouble if you just replaced it.
3 - D: If you do not have a card or have forgotten yours tough luck. Just because the cashiers know a general code doesn’t mean that they have the time to enter it in for you every time you are too lazy to have yours ready. They cannot be expected to do it for everyone.
3 - E: Please do not send the card down the line as if the cashier is in the middle of something they are small enough not to stop the belt and will get sucked under the belt and the cashier will have to dig it out
4) Sales & Coupons
4 - A: Please read signs and posting in papers carefully. It is a waste of time to have the cashier run around the store to check one price for one customer!
4 - B: Pay attention to what you have when you have a coupon and make sure that they match and your coupon is not expired.
4 - C: If you think you did not get your sale price look at the display carefully before bothering the cashier and stopping the line. Anything with a minus sign is a deduction and is the sale price!
4 - D: Make sure the item is on sale and that you know the actual price. Know when sales end!
5) Go backs
5 - A: If something is damaged on the belt before it reaches the cashier it is your fault so do not make the cashier go get you a replacement. I have seen this many times with cantaloupes getting sliced by the credit card scanner and eggs getting crushed by something that can’t fit under it and are forced out the way. Pay attention.
5 - B: If you find a damaged item in the store bring it to a cashier, those are the only items you should turn into the cashier.
5 - C: If you have an item you have decided that you do not want put it back where you find it. Do not give it to the cashier and expect them to do it for you because they might not have time. Also do not leave the items in random places around the store especially if they are perishables because they might go unnoticed and spoil.
6) Paying
6 - A: If you have a problem with the amount of something, such as the total, bring it up before you pay because by then it is too late.
6 - B: Do not use the cash register as an ATM.
6 - C: When you pay do not use huge bills! Please try to get a close as possible.
6 - D: Know how to the card scanner!
6 - E: Do not send money down the line as like the discount card it can get sucked down the belt.
6 - F: Be careful with your change!
6 - G: If you are writing a check tell the cashier if you are writing it over!
7) General
7 - A: Pay attention to what you put on the belt and in what order. To make things easier and faster load them in a way that it convenient to bag. Especially if it is an express line because the cashier has to ring and bag at the same time.
7 - B: If you have your own bags give them to the cashier first as they must have the bags to start ringing things up because without it they have no place to put the groceries after they have been scanned.
7 - C: Use the separators! They make everyone’s life easier.
7 - D: Do not leave the line in the middle of your order! Do not use the register as your cart, coming back and dropping stuff off
7 - E: If you are using a basket empty it yourself and put it where it supposed to. Do not send the basket down the line and expect the cashier to unload, scan and bag it all for you!
7 - F: Know what you have bought and don’t expect the cashier to be able to identify every single type of produce they sell! There are about 400 in an average store because of tiny differences. If you don’t know what are trying to purchase do not expect the cashier too!
7 - G: Do not expect to know the four digit codes for those 400 produce items and telling them the price does not help them figure out what it is!
7 - H: Do not talk on the phone! The checkout is more complicated than you think and if you want it done your way you have to be there not miles away talking to someone else.
7 - I: If you have a question ask the managers at customer service. They do not train cashiers beyond using the registers and so the cashiers do not know everything!
7 - J: The greeting - cashiers really don’t care that much, their job is to send you on your way, which is what you want so please do not go into your life story
7 - K: Note the “Next register” sign. Just because the cashier is there does not mean you can come in the line. They might have to do a pick up or go on a break. They have been standing on their feet for hours and you being selfish is only going to tick them off. You do not work for eight hours without a break and neither should they.
7 - L: Do not touch the scanner. Just because you are a customer does not mean you own the register!
7 - M: Do not pass on your rotten mood.
7 - N: Do not embarrass yourself or the cashier. Cashiers are teased by their peers for their customers. Two examples from my experience you should avoid: falling asleep at the register, and do not wear underwear on your head!
7 - O: Be patient! The machines are old and rarely work properly. The cashiers are human and make mistakes.
7 - P: Be respectful. This is the cashier’s job. They are not retarded for having it. Most have this job as a second one to help make ends meet and not as their only job because they cannot get another one. Do not treat them badly because you think less of them for doing this job. It might seem easy to you but it takes a while to learn to do it efficiently.

Zegwarian310
Community Member
  • [08/22/08 10:23pm]
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  • User Comments: [2]
    Chance-n-Characo
    Community Member





    Sun Jun 22, 2008 @ 01:30am


    Its interesting to hear about the troubles people have to deal with in their jobs... My old job was the BEST... I worked in the frozen food section... Nothing like spending a hot May day inside a 0 degree freezer, lol... But... Worst thing I had to deal with at my job were the occasional racists... See, I live in Reno, which is a very... Whats a good term for it... I guess you could just say that its a town with a general mentality that basically believes that all Hispanics are drug running, border hopping gangsters who populate like rabbits... ... ... That last part is sort of true, but still...


    Zegwarian310
    Community Member





    Sun Jun 22, 2008 @ 02:31am


    yeah but I don't think that you can ever really beat a woman coming to my register with a little girl's panties on her head....i think I was traumatized


    User Comments: [2]
     
     
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