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I finished reading the Story of Art. I enjoyed it. Its odd to think it was first published in 1950 and Sir Groms wrote like 3 different conclusions afterward because actually changed over the next 37 years. This was one of the few 'history' books I enjoyed. I wished someone could make American/World history this interesting. I mean heck I'm in a music history class now (and music is my major!) and I don't find it that interesting...speaking of I need to write that stupid paper today.

Ugh. I swear sometimes this environment just encourages me to stay in my 'shell.' I've known that you can get refills at Starbucks but was always too awkward to do it, so I actually asked for one today and didn't know you needed your receipt so I was all 'ualfjsd;lfjsdl;jv' and somehow mentioned to get out that my receipt was upstairs. Could have saved myself the embarrassment if I had never asked for a refill...

Met Genevieiveive yesterday. She is nice but I dunno. I don't really like people that are self consciously academic. She talks about her quaint little North Eastern university a little much. But then again a lot of OYRs do. They come here talking about their schools like they are the official spokesman trying to recruit people. But I dunno. I mean she was talking about waiting to get back to be able to use 'big words' and how she had a college level vocabulary back in the 6th grade and I'm all '....' I dont think you should have to go out of your way to use 'big words'...unless your taking the SAT/GRE...speaking of I need to study for that...

Blah I hate it when I sound like I'm so self assured of things..but I think I know what works for me. Which is why Geneveve for me is a little...blah cuz she seems so insistent on things her way when I'm like, if I study this way at this time I'm sure I'll be fine for the final, and don't have to translate allll the teachers notes etc.

What else. I unfortunately feel uneasy about meeting Nathan again. I hate that I said that. And I can't 'believe' I said that. Considering how crushed I was when I had to come back this semester. I wanted nothing more than to see him again. And now I'm not sure if I do. Its just that the last 2 weeks here have made me question a LOT. And I'm not 100% sure he is 'right' for me. I want him to be. But I don't know. I just don't want to have to compromise a lot is the thing I think...Thats selfish but its true. Its hypocritical because I want to say that I'm 'fine' with the way things are right now when really I'm not...but I don't think that yielding my life to him will make things better because yeah...I'm 'ok' with things right now...

I got my 話しことば test books yesterday. I think its what I've needed. Can't wait to start studying for that. And my 文検 books are being redelivered at 4. I hope Nathan understands how much I need to study this summer...

And I need to study now. For Latin. Its not bad its just a lot. I should get on it.

Summer couldn't come sooner. I love/hate it here but right now I feel like I'm about to crawl out of my skin. I need time to refresh. And MAYBE I can get things right next year and take on this country...