After all this, I guess I'm not alone. Talking to my "big bro" at the moment...better than nothing I suppose. My parents are arguing just because of me. I feel so freakin' mad at myself. Hate it. The only that can bring comfort are probably mom and 'Bandit since he's like family to me. sweatdrop
Dad and I have never been on good terms...the only thing we have in common are using the internet and enjoying using the iPod. Otherwise, I can't think of anything else. I mean...sure we're Asian and have the same last name...but that doesn't matter
Starting to think that Dad's one of the reasons for my low self esteem. .__. Even Dragon said I had to assert myself. neutral He's not the only one, there's 'Bandit too, saying that I have to start accepting comments. I mean, I can take a hit here or there...but sometimes it justs feels really really awkward. XD He told me that I was waay too modest...
The donations are kinda having the same effect on me too. Voices going, "Hey! I'm not worthy enough!" (lol...you know who you are 3nodding ) But, I really appricate it and I'm hoping that those thoughts will go away. ^_^ I really treasure each and every single one of you and for your friendships.
Still not going back to Deviant Art. *shrug* I've decided that I'm going to finish that request from Cronos and then go back. >.>; This way I won't procrastinate as badly. Besides, the many many messages are really a pain. T.T Chung, I'm sorry about this...because you're probably waiting for me to return your note back. But because of my small depression mode, I'm not really ready to go back...I can only express myself clearly when I'm back to normal and this may take time. So as for now...my deviant art site will probably be on hiatus.
Yeah...the only escape from my reality will probably be in the gaia fishing world. XD I feel some-what accepted and the people I've met are really nice, but I know that I'll have to face the music one day. It's not like I'm in some euphoria or anything like that...but it's just a nice place to be. ^_^ Makes me want to go to the Top Fisher's board, yet I might not have time for that. I'll go compete next summer. =b
That's probably it for now...thanks for bearing with my long and random journal entry. XD Comments are appriciated. ^_^
Take care now,
Viv
--
Links:
arrow Friends
arrow Deviant Art Account
arrow Xanga
View User's Journal
.~The Experiences of a Butterfly~.
Welcome to my world...my life...my fantasy.
 |
