Welcome to Gaia! :: View User's Journal | Gaia Journals

Hello, my name is Kira, I may not seem it at first glance...But I hate everything in the world. BUT! I made a little rhyme for myself when i get sad or mad it goes something like this.
"Smile ,Smile, Smile,
Do not frown.
Even though you see the world for what it truely is.
Do not look down" Not much of a rhyme ,but it works when I feel like breaking down into many small peices. I guess one can say my mato is 'Do not cry ,do not yell, do not contridict, and make the world happy even though its not' Frowning in my opinion is a horrible thing. You make people worry when it's THEM that needs the attention. I matter not to the world, what matters is the world itself and the OTHER people inhabiting it. Sading, is something one might think. But why would it make you sad!? Because all I intend on doing is making YOU happy at the sacrifice of my own happiness. So please don't think I am currupt ,because I am not in this sense. As far as the rest of me goes I am generly a very currupt person. My idea of people is 'Betraying backstabers who think there always better than the person next to them'. Lately though I have come to relization that the only reason we think this way is because that is what we have been tought That no matter what if out heart is in it we surpass all! To reach our goal. What if a person's goal is to be better than another person ,well if they believe hard enough in THEIR mind they are better and they will always be better. Although that seems to be the mass populations goal in the world there are others that think-- well not like that and that makes ME happy. The thought that people like that exsist in this world is a very comforting thing. People that are just nice...Nice...That is such a lovely word...I'm glad it's real and isn't fake.Ahhh...I'm in such a happy state of mind thinking about people like that. In my thought a nice person is a person who doesn't judge everything you do constantly,doesn't leave you by yourself when you already feel like crap,doesn't make fun of you,laughes with you instead of staring at you oddly,and doesn't look down upon you. Sadly most of my friends and family members have at least one of these qualities...BUT...There is one place where those personality traits don't seem to exsist. The thought of that one place makes me so happy...but...at the same time i'm crying...The one spot is gone again...I'll go through the joy and pain of gaining a safe haven even if only for a few days every year. I WANT IT BACK SO BADLY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! The one place I belong!!!!!!!Please God bring it back! MAke the year go by quickly! I don't want to go through the pain of another year. I want time to stop! I want it to stop and let me go back to last thursday! I want it back! I hate being where i am so much! I want to be accepted again. Please let me go back and live it again. I don't want to wait another year of pain and dispair.