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I’m sitting in a quiet dark room, with the depressing shadows of my painful memories pressing in on me. I brace my back on the comforting corner where the walls of my past and future met. Gazing out into the dense black cloud that fills the room, something shifts in the darkness. My eyes strain to see the object moving in this engulfing darkness. The shadow moves closer to where I can see it in all its gore. My sister stands before me, her empty eyes stare right through me as though they could pierce my soul. I looked over her in her artfully ripped pink zombie dress. My eyes were drawn to her hair lying limp against her pale skin, then to her head where the left side was smashed in. I wanted to look away from this horrific sight but I was fixed in a trace.
“Katie,” she said in a soft voice, “Why’d you push me down the stairs? I know we fighting , but why push me down the stairs?”
My eyes filled with stinging tears as she crept closer.
“I…I didn’t,” I cried out.
The tears I had been restraining erupted like a volcano. Tumbling down my face and onto my shirt were they soaked into the white fabric.
“Yes you did, we were fighting and I was about to go switch laundry when you pushed me down the stairs,” she said stopping in front of me.
“No, no I didn’t push you, I…I would never…” I blubbered looking into her dead eyes. She sat down, descending to my eye level
“Yes you did, I know you did,” she said firmly.
I wiped my tear streaked cheeks on my shoulders, trying to calm down, and trying to think strait.
“NO, NO I DIDN’T PUSH YOU!” I screamed at her.
“You tripped on the cats when they were racing down the stairs, I tried to grab your arm. I never wanted our fighting to end that way.”
I was sobbing, shaking my head back and forth trying to expel the memories from my mind. Shivering as she placed her frozen, dead hands under my chin making me look at her.
“You tried to save me?” she said looking confused.
“Yes, yes, I never wanted this to happen. I’m sorry, I'm so sorry,” the sobs burst out of my heaving chest.
She pulled me close and rocked me like our mother used to.
“I’m sorry, so sorry, I’m so sorry,” I kept apologizing.
It was the only thing I could do as she held and rocked me gently. My sobs and tears quieted as she kept rocking me in her arms. I was left sniffling by the time she placed me back in my corner. She stood and I looked up to see her smiling with shimmering tears filling her eyes.
“I forgive you, Katie I forgive you,” she said as she backed into the darkness. Happy tears filled my eyes this time, I was no longer scared of the horrific image of her. I laid on the white cushioned floor, hugging myself in my strait jacket. Murmuring to myself as I drifted off to sleep, “She’s forgiven me, she’s finally forgiven me.”