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Once upon a time, in a faraway land, there lived an insomniac called Saru. Now, everyone would get mad at Saru because there was no possible way for her to fall asleep before 1am, and oftentimes she couldn't sleep even after that. But when Saru did fall asleep, she tended to sleep about half the day away.

This was a problem.

Saru had to attend her high school, and it was nearly impossible, because everyone knows teenagers need at least eight hours of sleep, not five or less. So, instead of waking up when her alarm clock went off, she simply pretended she was still asleep and didn't wake up, even when people threw off her blankets and yelled at her.

And so it went on for a while, but Saru realized that she needed to go to school, but she couldn't possibly wake up at 6:00 every morning. So she came up with the perfect idea: homeschooling. She thought of a good way to ask her parents, and came unto them with a valid and reasonable proposal.

"No."

Saru liked, no, she loved to learn, but if she couldn't attend school, not only would her grades fall, but she couldn't get a good education. Her parents were her only obstacle.

So, naturally, Saru killed her parents and stuffed them, and homeschooled herself. She got into Yale and had a kick-a** life. The end.