|
9.28.05 again
I really think there is something wrong with me.
My temperature as gotten considerably worse throughout the day. Now its at 101.9. I've thrown up twice only to throw up water and acid, I've taken tylenol and it didn't do s**t.
I'm also tired of feeling bad vibes between Alexia and I. Yes, I don't know why I am saying this, but it has to be said.
I'm tired of feeling hurt all the time I am around her. I'm not angry, just hurt. I feel like she is only being nice to me to keep peace with everyone. She does all these nice things for people, yet gives me a dirty look. It might be subconcious, but I see it, and I feel the bad vibes radiating from her.
I'm getting tired of feeling this way, I just want to leave so I don't have to feel it. If I wasn't so far from home last night, I would have walked. I was planning on just leaving until Melissa dragged me back. I couldn't stand the feelings radiating from people, they all looked at me differently. And from when I just sat away from everyone, I noticed that everyone was happier without me there.
It just goes to show that possibly me being around people makes everyone uncomfortable.
I wanted to cry so hard today because of all this, but every time I tried, I got sick.
Maybe John was right about what he said to me a few months ago. I bring people down.
Perhaps its the right thing for me to just leave the group and let them be happy.
|
Community Member
About your sickness..I really hope you get better soon. heart