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this bites
i have no idea why this week is spiraling out of control. first i get into a horrid confrontation with my evil uncle. get really depressed. then my mum and i had a fight. more like her yelling at me. she basically said i thought only of myself, i was too defensive and took everything too personally. she also said i was whacked and lived in la la land. also i am too wacky and she is tired of trying to help me because i am ruining her life. i guess i should not take much of this but she could be right. her room reeked of bourbon last night sooo.....but then i take things to personally.
and i took it out on my cat. i would not let her in my room. it is always like i try to barricade myself in. i did eventually let her in but she did not stay then anyway. so i was to anxious to sleep last night. so i stayed up and watched a really weird scary movie on scifi. amazingly enough that did not make matter worse and i managed to calm down and get sleepy.
i hate this! i hate being worried and on edge and feeling like i am crazy or going crazy. i have no idea what i am going to do
someday i will write happier things but right now everything just feels like it is falling apart and there is way to much to worry about.
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