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Well, I've moved in to the new apartment. Funny enough, my room's the only one that looks liveable at this point. The perks of being a virgo with limited requirements regarding stuff. I think the only thing I was really worried about were my books. They're kinda important.

Anyway, not really enjoying life at this point. Nearly started crying probably four times during a two hour practice for Color Guard today. Hated the fact that I had to leave Ventura and all the security it provides a good 7 hours early, but hey, life sucks that way. Concluded my day at school with a rather...something not good make up session with Kevin. I think I mildly overwhelmed. Must tone down scandulousness. Might care if I actually liked him and didn't have Mayday Parade singing in my head through the entire thing. Why do I kiss people I don't like? I swear to Kira I'm not hormonal... I guess I was just bored... ugh

Still haven't finished my Psychology or History homework, but truth be told, I really don't give a ******** right now. I dub vacation homework as the lamest thing ever and refuse to take part.

I've been feeling a lot like Sophie from Howl's Moving Castle (well, the pre-spell and Witch of the Waste Sophie anywho). Remember the scene where she tries smiling at herself in the mirror with that hat on her head and then she gives up and just pulls it low over her eyes. Yep, that's me.

I don't know. I can't seem to be happy about anything lately. Nothing cheers me up. I'm faking every smile. Kira, this house is a mess. See? Can't even be happy about having my own room (might be because my mom's crashing on it)

I really needed to talk to her. I needed someone who'd listen and vent and give me advice and try to understand the things I couldn't make sense of, but mom's too busy, i guess. I called her after the annoying little make out session and was ready to cry only to have her be like "I'm at work. I can't talk. I'll call you when I'm off." and I'm like standing on the bike path, completely stunned and fighting down tears. And now she's sleeping.... How did I end up with such a constantly tired, pack ratting, unorganized mother? I'm none of those things. I'm usually numb, not tired. I never, ever pack rat and I've got to be one of the most organized people I know. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!! 3 WEEKS TO VACATION! 3 WEEKS TO VACATION!!! I CAN LAST 3 WEEKS!!!! (I hope)