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Lately, I don't really like the person that I am. I'm kinda disappointed in myself. I would say I've noticed I was being mean to my friends but. . . I didn't notice. Not until one of my friends actually decided to point it out. At first I thought they were just kidding with me like I was kidding with them. = / Now I'm thinking not. They seem to be getting more and more frustrated and annoyed with me. Now I feel terrible because I don't mean to be such a jerk. I'm sorry. I'm also sorry I'm such a hypocrite. . maybe you should just stop listening to the bs that comes from my mouth. I'm sure it'd make you feel better. And now that I think about it, I don't really see why you want to be my friend. If all I do is treat you like crap, I wouldn't be surprised if you made it a goal to forget about me while you're in college.
I'm sure by now you know who you are. It's not like I have alot of friends so it should be prety much narrowed down by now.
I guess I'm too chicken to apologise to you in person so. . . I'm sorry for making fun of you every chance I get. (I have a theory: I guess it's just my cold hearted way of trying to make myself feel better. . . I never feel good enough for you so instead of trying to better myself, I make fun of you to make me think you're down at my level. I don't know. That's my theory. . . Pretty pathetic though.) Sorry for being so hypocritical, especially now when all I'm doing is saying sorry. . . and also when I was teasing you. . It's stupid that I couldn't handle one of your jokes but I expect you to put up with all of mine. . .

= / I hope you forgive me because I feel really guilty for treating you that way. I didn't think it was a big deal til now. .