Here's the article (Provided by xanga.com's Datingish):
Would You Still Ask Someone Out If You Knew You Didn't Have A Chance?
I have always wondered about this; do people still ask a person out even if they are aware of the odds against them?
I personally have never asked someone out as of yet; I have considered it a couple of times but something always happened that prevent the situation (ie. finding out he already have a girlfriend, my girl friend likes him as well, losing interest, confusion/mixed signals, etc.) However, I have been asked out quite a few times. Many of these people either aren't that close to me (and I dislike being around someone I don't know well alone) so they probably did not understand my personality or character well enough to judge me based on reasons other than appearance. I do not try to flirt or have ever considered any of my actions to have been considered flirting when I was with them...because they don't know me all that well, are they asking hoping I might give them a chance?
There are a couple of cases, however, where a close friend asked me out (or rather, asked me to be his girlfriend). These were generally friends that have been around me long enough to be well acquainted with my personality (ranging from four months to nearly six years); however, I have never thought I gave them any signals either that showed I liked them (especially with this one guy). This left me rather confused once some of the initial shock of being asked out wore off. I would never ask someone out if I didn't think I had a chance, but maybe that's because I have always been afraid of getting hurt.
So in conclusion, would you ever approach someone - friend, acquaintance, maybe even a random stranger - and ask him or her out if you knew you didn't have a chance, or at least not much of one? Have you ever done this?
I have always wondered about this; do people still ask a person out even if they are aware of the odds against them?
I personally have never asked someone out as of yet; I have considered it a couple of times but something always happened that prevent the situation (ie. finding out he already have a girlfriend, my girl friend likes him as well, losing interest, confusion/mixed signals, etc.) However, I have been asked out quite a few times. Many of these people either aren't that close to me (and I dislike being around someone I don't know well alone) so they probably did not understand my personality or character well enough to judge me based on reasons other than appearance. I do not try to flirt or have ever considered any of my actions to have been considered flirting when I was with them...because they don't know me all that well, are they asking hoping I might give them a chance?
There are a couple of cases, however, where a close friend asked me out (or rather, asked me to be his girlfriend). These were generally friends that have been around me long enough to be well acquainted with my personality (ranging from four months to nearly six years); however, I have never thought I gave them any signals either that showed I liked them (especially with this one guy). This left me rather confused once some of the initial shock of being asked out wore off. I would never ask someone out if I didn't think I had a chance, but maybe that's because I have always been afraid of getting hurt.
So in conclusion, would you ever approach someone - friend, acquaintance, maybe even a random stranger - and ask him or her out if you knew you didn't have a chance, or at least not much of one? Have you ever done this?
My Reply (admittedly slightly irrelevant, but this had me written all over. I am the Queen of No Chance. BD):
I wouldn't go so far to say I asked anyone out, but I always, ALWAYS tell someone my feelings regardless of whether I think they might be willing to return them or not. I see it as dishonest to keep that stuff secret, and completely unfair to the person who's being crushed on. They have a right to know.
And talking from the other side, it's NICE to know that someone likes you even though you don't like them back. I've discussed this with a friend, so I know I'm not completely alone in this, but I actually get a teeny bit jealous when that person I don't like starts liking someone else. Ha!
SOME people will be total jerks when you tell them, they will start avoiding you, make rude remarks, and in some cases it can totally ruin your friendship.... BUT those are the genuinely immature people. Mature friends understand that feelings HAPPEN and there's nothing you can do about it. It doesn't mean that your being friends with them to 'get something out of them', it means you value their company... more than what is common. wink At the very core of it, it is a complement, and it does not have to be 'accepted' through a relationship... and if it does, GREAT!
Here's the Link to the Article Looking back, I really liked the reply of the girl above me. There were far too many people that said 'Noooo way', which is just boring, unrisky and LAAAAME.
