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And still I linger...
Him/Her 12/25/08
From the outside,
They looked perfect.
But behind the scenes,
All they did was fight.
Night after night she screamed,
And he tried to keep her calm.
She cried and he soothed,
And everything would be alright.

She loved him to death
And hoped that he could see,
The reasons she cried,
Wasn't because of him.
He sat on the phone
As quite as good be,
Ignoring her pleas
And trying to be
Stronger then need be.

It didn't matter what she said,
He just wouldn't talk.
She woke up screaming,
In shivers because of her dreams.
Her eyes grew dark and her worries just,
As she found that her dreams
Were as real as could be.

She first heard him cry,
As he begged her to stay.
Little did she know,
That he was going to go anyway.
He was her life,
And she thought she meant more.

Laying in the dark,
She has to get up.
Pondering rather or not to do it;
Should she go or just confront it?
She was sitting with the kids,
And the baby made a call.
She started at his voice,
All to aware that it was too soon.
He didn't say those words,
And it scared her to death.
But at the same time,
It made it easier to cope,
With what was going down later.

Returning his call,
She took a deep breath;
They didn't joke,
Just got straight to the catch.
He said that things were changing,
And that it didn't feel the same.
She tried to stay strong,
To not cry on the phone.
She told him thank you
For putting up with her for that long.
But inside she was falling apart.

When he finally hung up the phone,
She just sat there and stared.
Laying down on the bed,
Not knowing what to do.
Couldn't cry,
Couldn't breathe;
Didn't remember how.
She lay there for hours;
Not wanted to face the world.

The pain she felt was real.
It knocked her off her feet,
Nearly killed her;
She admitted defeat.
She didn't want to eat,
She didn't want to see.
Everything increased the hurt;
She couldn't escape.

She stayed this way for days;
Not knowing how to cope.
Never relaxing,
Waiting for a call.
Waiting to see if he would change his mind.
She knew in her heart that this was for real,
But she couldn't help but hope.
The anger lashed out;
She screamed.

Sitting at school;
Never quite alone.
He walked with her friend;
Didn't seem to see her tear-filled eyes.
Everyone was happy;
But the tension was strong.
She didn't want to be there,
But she couldn't stand to run.
She went through her classes,
Trying not to think of him;
Trying to be strong.

It's been this way for months now,
And alas they aren't friends.
She just couldn't take it;
Had to break it off.
He didn't try to fight her,
She assumes he doesn't care.
What would he want with her,
When he's got a new girl?

She tries not to do it,
But she picks up that knife.
Slides it across the skin,
But never even makes a slice.
She can't bring herself to do it;
Doesn't want to feel that pain.
She burns herself with fire,
Letting her other half take the blame.
Never herself;
Can't ever be herself.
So tired of hurting,
So she hurts herself.





 
 
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