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My days don't end or begin.

They pause for a few breif seconds of sleep, then its back to the normal grind.

This morning when the play button was hit, when Kim called me at 7 to tell me she was on her way -- it seems so far away.

I hope more than anything, that when I'm sleeping in the hotel room I'm paying for solo this weekend, smoking and drinking and sidestepping into sleep, that the time will go as it does during the typical day.

Slow.
But relaxed.
Surreal, but from a new reason other than just being tired.

I'm realizing more than I'm a strange adult-kid hybrid, whose carefree and creative like a child, but with the responsibilities and stress of an adult.

It's an odd way to live life, as a pseudo-adult that just wants to play video games all day, but barely squeezes in more than an hour a week.

Sometimes, I don't think this is really my life. That I really go out of my way for other people on an hourly basis, that I bend and bend and have yet to recently break. That I work so much and get so little.

Is this really me?

I feel... surreal...

I've recently been ignoring all of my online friends, have for a while, but I've been exceptionally bad this week.
There's just so much going on.
So many little details that have to be taken care of by tomorrow, and I've barely begun.
The hangover from last weekend's panic.
The impending sledge hammer of stress from this one.
The fact that I've been up since 7o'clock this morning and running around, and have to wake up in five hours to start all over again, with MORE stuff to do...
I'm sorry guys. ._.

Between now and Friday afternoon, when everyone's settled into the hotel, I'll be stressed.
I'll sleep on Saturday morning, I hope...

Sunday, I'm working from 3:30 to close.
Monday's Halloween.
I'm going to agnostically pray for relief.

Possibly, a sense of reality...