Yes, you read that correctly!
You can read! *thumbs up*
And you know what sucks about them hating transsexuals?
Well, a lot. stare
Eh hem.
I knew they hated gays (me) but I never really knew how my parents felt about transsexuals until I found out how much my ma loves Dead or Alive's music, but HATES Pete Burns. When I asked her if he was a tran, she said, "I'd rather not think about that." When I found out he is, I showed my ma a pic and she became disgusted with what I showed her. Same way with Chris Crocker and Jeffree Star.
My brother likes Dead or Alive's music too. He said, "The only problem is that guy/girl. The thing doesn't know what it is!"
And my dad fessed up right from the beginning that Pete Burns is a "freak."
So we are freaks for "playing God," I am assuming.
Well, if you are gonna bring "god" in this subject, than HE is the 1 who played US.
HE is the 1 who gave me the wrong body. 1 I would rather kill myself than be in.
*sigh* I'm so ******** up.
I feel so trapped; so alone.
Sure I have friends, but I know no1 like me.
Although I would pity some1 to suffer the way I am, I would also be happy to know I am not by myself.
Sure there are a few transsexuals out there, but I know none, personally, that is.
And, yes, I do know people who have the same wishes as I do, but we do not discuss that matter.
I also had a few friends on testosterone, but they are into heavy drugs.
They've tried to get me to try s**t all the time I wouldn't know what they were giving me.
Especially when I used to cut my wrist and shove anything I could find into the cut to get high.
Dani told me that could stop my heart somehow.
She went into details, but the inside of 1's body is information I do not want to know.
Now I struggle everyday. Every ******** day.
In class I draw men dreaming to be women and women to men.
I try so hard to make my thoughts go away, but that makes them worse!
How would you feel if 1 day you woke up in the body of the opposite sex?
Wouldn't you try desperately to go back?
I feel like I have been played a joke upon.
My body has destroyed me, while my thoughts eat away what has remained.
I hate that I look at men in envy. Girls look at other girls thinking, "I wish I looked like her..."
I look at MEN and think, "I wish I were him."
I want out.
I cannot take this feeling anymore!
Sadly enough, I have even cut across 1 of my breasts a few times.
What would that do?
Remove it!?
I wish it did.
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Dysfunctional_Hooker
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User Comments: [1] [add]
User Comments: [1] [add]
Community Member
its so weird that i randomly found this journal, but, i envy men too
and also i completely relate to this:
I look at MEN and think, "I wish I were him."
i relate 100%
...the only person, however, who has ever helped me like my female body is my girlfriend :/
but, i still have issues with it, just like u do, constantly ._.
*hugs u*
i just needed to comment this so u knew u rnt alone