Demyx: Soooo... -twiddles thumbs, looks nervous-
Zexion: Nine, you've been attempting to start conversation for ten minutes now. If there's something you'd like to actually say...
Demyx: Heh, r-right! Right. Um, just, y'know, I heard this wacky rumor in the castle that you and Marluxia, er, necked.
Zexion: ...Necked?
Demyx: I'm not learning slang from Luxord!
Zexion: Of course you aren't. Well, there was, in fact, some physical flirting with Eleven and myself, but it was nothing serious.
Demyx: How-?
Zexion: He wanted to gag Vexen. I merely distracted him.
Demyx: Oh! Oh. Heh. I see. Um, great. So, nothing serious. Right?
Zexion: Correct. -an awkward silence- Why did you sound so reli-
The doors suddenly burst open and Voxden comes in escorting an evilly grinning Larxene, who's shooting insults behind her at a severely aggravated Vexen, who's being escorted by Nadra, of all people.
Voxden: Alright, kiddies, have a seat now! We have a special presentation for you all today! It's a mental hospital fic, or so I'm told.
Nadra: And I'm sure you know a lot about those, don't you, freak?
Voxden: Alas, I was sexually abused as a child in such wretched places! Ye would find no other den of filthy villainy.
Nadra: Lying b***h. -dragged off to the booth-
Vexen: Tch, disgusting parasitic abomination...
Larxene: Oh, you shouldn't curse yourself out like that, Vexie, dear. And hey, what happened to your glow in the dark twin, Zex?
Zexion: -cheerfully- Apparently, he's not talking to me until he gets over what happened last-
Demyx: Shush, guys! The fic is starting!
Chronophilia Complex
by SugarBeatAngel
by SugarBeatAngel
Vexen: Oh, hell. -groans and sinks down into his seat-
Zexion: I'd pat your back, but I, as you say, lack the capacity to give a damn. Shame Lexaeus isn't here.
Demyx: Wait, wait, what's going on?
Zexion: -clears throat- Chronophilia refers to a group of patterns of sexual arousal associated with age discrepancy between the sexual partners.
Larxene: -snickers- Oh, I get it now. I mean, we all know how Vexen is a filthy, filthy *****, right?
"Dr. Even... Dr. Even, you are needed in the new admissions department."
Vexen sighed as the overhead intercom echoed its demand through the hall.
Vexen: Wait, am I 'Dr. Even' or my real name?
Zexion: Uh oh. I see where this is going.
He'd been paged six times already and it was only noon.
Vexen: Just like in canon. Extraordinary.
He adjusted his stark white coat and slid his employee card in the awaiting slot as he approached the electronically locked door. The heavy door clicked twice and groaned quietly as it slid open. The too familiar smell of latex gloves and iodine flooded Vexen's nostrils as he passed through the infirmary and took a sharp left. It was a quick ride in the elevator to the bottom floor where three orderlies and a bloody faced nurse stood across the room from a sadistic looking young man with pen in his hand.
Voxden: -bursts out laughing- Hey, I didn't know we were telling my life story!
Nadra: But you aren't canon. This isn't about you/
Voxden: It should be. I'm ******** awesome.
"What seems to be the problem?"
"D-dr. Even!" Demyx held his face and pointed toward the slivery-blue haired patient standing in the corner of the room. "I just tried to put a damned identification bracelet on the little ******** and he punched me!
Zexion: You certainly didn't learn that kind of language from the original six, Nine. -glares sternly-
Demyx: -sputters- But I didn't! And I don't even swear! -pouts- Besides, since can you punch people out, Zexy?
Larxene: Well, it's not exactly difficult with you, Demyx.
Demyx: Hey!
He's been threatening to stab himself in the eye for the past fifteen minutes."
Vexen looked at his four petrified co-workers with a bored expression.
Vexen: -as himself- Homicide. Suicide. Yawn. What else is new?
"And none of you thought to restrain him? I mean, quite obviously if he's threatening to stab himself then he poses no immediate threat to you, correct?"
Demyx: -as himself- But Vex, we're a hospital. I thought we were, you know, supposed to make sure the patient doesn't kill himself?
Vexen turned to the distraught patient with a smile. "Correct?"
Zexion: Vexen smiling is generally not a good thing. I admit I find myself slightly concerned.
Larxene: -snorts- Vexen smiling means something stupid is about to happen.
Zexion paused in thought before shaking his head violently. "******** no! I'll stab that son of a b***h! I can't wear s**t on my arms... I have sensitive skin!"
Demyx: Could you make a Silence of the Lamb joke with that?
Larxene: -smirks mockingly- You certainly didn't learn that kind of language from the neophytes, Six.
Zexion: -sinks into his seat, flushing and grumbling about 'deplorable characterization' and 'idiotic OOC cursing'-
Vexen: That's ridiculous! That is a ridiculous reason to commit either homicide or suicide-
Demyx: Mental hospital!
Vexen: -And that is a ridiculous excuse!
Demxy: Point. Jeez, Zex, how sensitive is your skin?
"Oh... I see." Vexen turned his gaze to Demyx and tugged on his glasses. "Very well then nurse, have his information sewn into his clothing."
Vexen: -grumbling- Idiocy.
Larxene: Oh, shut up already.
Demyx gawked at Vexen. "But Dr. Even... That isn't protocol!"
Demyx: -as himself- And I can't sew!
Vexen snapped a sharp glare Demyx's way and grit his teeth. "Forget protocol! Our number one intention is to make our guests feel as comfortable as possible.
Zexion: -rolls eyes- You certainly didn't care earlier.
Now, if Mr..." Vexen glanced back at the new patient who seemed much calmer now.
"Ienzo... Zexion Ienzo." Zexion dropped the pin to the ground and rubbed his arm stiffly.
Zexion: Using our Other's names as our last names. How creative. -viciously- I hope this person gets hit by a bus in the name of creativity.
"Right. If Mr. Ienzo says that he has delicate skin then who are you to refute this?
Vexen: Damned imbeciles! They're the hospital staff! Check his records, do tests! Ugh! Completely incompetent, not unlike certain people I worked with now.
Demyx: Well, excuse me for not being a super genius scientist kinda guy!
Larxene: I mean, some of us have actual lives, Vex. Maybe you've heard of them? -rolls her eyes-
Need we pull up all medical records dating back to his birth? I don't think it is difficult to allow such a minor slip in the program, do you? After all, I do run this facility."
Vexen: But it is important! Minor slips can cause all sorts of trouble! -starts yanking hair in frustration-
Demyx: Has he always been this much of a perfectionist?
Zexion: Oh yes, even before the Organization. On one hand, it made him a brillaint scientist... On the other...
Larxene: It made him an insufferable whiny little b***h.
Zexion: I suppose that's one way of putting it, although rather vulgar.
"Yes sir, Dr. Even." Demyx nodded and motioned for one of the orderlies to restrain their new "guest."
"Restraining him won't be necessary." Vexen pulled a clip board off of Demyx's desk and gave it a quick glance. "Ward six eh?"
Zexion: Oh, the irony. Ward six. -rolls eyes- And what do you mean restraints won't be necessary? I just tried to stab myself in the eye!
Demyx: -as himself- And he punched me in the face!
"Yes... He's very dangerous." Demyx looked up at Vexen nervously as he dabbed his nostrils with tissue.
"Then where is his police escort?"
Demyx: Jeez, a police escort? Zex isn't that dangerous.
Larxene: -giggles- You've never gone with him to Gotham, have you?
Vexen tugged off his glasses and quickly pocketed them. "No, wait... Let me guess. Once he's inside these walls he's no longer in their jurisdiction..." Vexen glanced at Demyx who gave him a very annoyed nod. "Bloody government funded bastards."
Zexion: 'Bloody'? Since when have you been British, Vexen?
Vexen: Now, apparently.
He placed the clip board back on the desk and turned to Zexion. "Come on then! Up we go."
Demyx: That makes you sound like a dad, Vex.
Vexen: -shudders- Ugh, children.
Zexion looked at Vexen in awe. "No handcuffs? No straight jacket!?"
Zexion: Awe? Well, awe at his stupidity, I suppose. However, I'm never one to look a gift horse in the mouth. Now all you need to do is turn away so I can stab this pen through your throat and make my escape from this wretched place.
Vexen: Such an action is exactly what I hope from you, Six. You'll have cemented my escape from this ridiculous fic.
"No need." Vexen smirked and motioned for the young man to follow him. "You don't seem to pose much of a threat. Not to me anyhow..."
Larxene: And another moment of stupidity brought to you by Vexen! Like always.
Zexion stared up at the doctor in disbelief. Nobody had ever really trusted him to be free of restraints… At least, not lately. He followed the peculiar doctor into an elevator and watched as he pushed the number eight. "The sixth ward is on the eighth floor? Strange."
Vexen mused quietly to himself and glanced down at the short young man. "So what did a tiny thing like you do to get labeled as criminally insane?"
Zexion blinked up at Vexen. "You wouldn't believe me if I told you..."
Vexen: -as himself- True. You are, after all, mentally unbalanced.
"You'd be surprised what I'd believe Mr. Ienzo." Vexen smirked and folded his arms as the elevator crept slowly up the shaft.
"I snuck into a neighbor's house... She had hundreds of cats. I hate cats... I killed them all and shaved them and hung them from her ceiling fans." Zexion shifted his weight uncomfortably. "Twice."
Demyx: Whoa, so she just went and got new cats after her old ones all died really creepy deaths?
Larxene: I think we all know who'd die in the horror movie first, then.
"And you got caught..." Vexen snickered lightly. "Well that would get you put here. And I'm sure the nurse and orderlies thought you'd killed a human or something."
"I would." Zexion twitched his nose quickly and stared up at the doctor. "If I had to I'd kill just as many humans as I did cats..."
Zexion: Although that's generally not the kind of thing you're supposed to tell the doctors in white coats. And, of course, you all realize that if I went insane, you'd have more to worry about then a few cats, hm?
Demyx: -shudders-
Vexen: -twitches- And that is why we have Lexaeus.
Vexen nodded slowly. "Indeed... That's why you are here. But don't worry. Those ******** in the police department send just about every criminal they have here.
Larxene: Jeez, this is sounding more like Victorian London by the second.
Vexen: -sneers- And what would you know about British history?
Larxene: -smirks- Luxord is teaching me a lot about history, if you know what I mean... -winks-
Demyx: I don't want to know. I really, really don't.
Doesn't matter if its petty theft or... Cat killing." Vexen smirked as the young man snickered. "The nearest prison is in the next state and since they very well can't transfer you "criminals" to a different state and they don't want to drive one-hundred and fifty miles North to the shitty little one we've got up there, they send you all here. I don't mind really... Makes my job interesting."Zexion opened his mouth to ask a question but the elevator came to an abrupt stop and the doors slid open. He followed the peculiar doctor out of the elevator and looked around. Everything was white... Everything. He hated the color white. It looked good on Dr. Even though.
Zexion: Pfft, the fangirls will tell you anything will look good on Vexen, even a suit-goggles-power tool combo.
"Dr. Even?"
Vexen glanced back at Zexion. "Just call me Vexen..."
Vexen: But I like the authority title!
Zexion nodded. "Vexen... This place seems strange. Do you run it how ever you want?"
"I do."
Demyx: But that's against the rules!
Vexen: Screw the rules, I have money.
Vexen slid his employee card into a waiting slot as he approached a locked door. "I do not own the facility. A man named Xemnas does. About ten years ago a friend of his got into trouble. Real trouble... He actually killed thirty two people on a bus by grabbing the wheel and spinning the bus out of control. He pled insanity... So they tried to ship him about two-hundred miles west of here to a government funded facility. Xemnas didn't like the idea of that so he commissioned this facility to be built and here I am."
Zexion: Hm, this is sounding oddly familiar, isn't it, Vexen?
Vexen: Indeed. Xemnas forcing a laboratory or 'hospital' to be built?
Zexion: Shipping whoever we wish there?
Vexen: Undoubtedly to be the subjects of whatever inhuman experiments of whatever the 'doctors' wish?
Zexion: So familiar... And yet I simply can't place it.
Vexen: Neither can I. Hm.
Demyx: I can't tell if you guys are joking or not. That scares me.
Zexion blinked calmly at the back of Vexen's head. "So where did you work before you came here?"
Vexen paused for a moment before continuing on. "I was… At the other facility."
Larxene: A little tidbit that surprises absolutely no one.
Zexion nodded quietly to himself and continued to follow the doctor without a word. After many twists and turns down identical hallways they finally came to a stop. Zexion stared in awe at the large room opening before him. All over the place were familiar looking people. People he'd seen in news papers or on local television channels... Criminals far worse than he was.
Larxene: 500 munny that it's the rest of the Organization.
"I have to leave now. I'll be back later to check on you. If you need anything just ask this man." Vexen motioned to the orderly standing beside the door. "His name is Lexaeus. He'll take care of you..."
Zexion: -crosses fingers- Please by in character of use, please...
"But..." Zexion froze as he felt a hand on his shoulder. He whipped around to see a devious looking blonde woman with sinister eyes.
Demyx: Y'know what would really be funny? If that was Naminé.
Zexion: Quite an interesting idea...
"I'm Larxene... Come on! I want you to come hang out with us."
Zexion: Never a good sign.
Larxene: Pfft, and what if I really just want to spend time with you, hm, Zexy? -drapes herself over him-
Demyx: Man, not even the Keyblade Kid's talking dog friend would buy that, Larxene.
Before the young man could object, Larxene tugged him over to her group of friends. She slung him into a chair and sat across from him. "So what's your name?"
"Zexion." Zexion blinked at the blonde woman.
"This is Marluxia..." Larxene said pointing to the pink haired man on her right. "And this is Axel." She threw her finger into the red haired man's chest before turning the frighteningly well manicured appendage in Zexion's face. "You were with Dr. Even!"
Larxene: -as herself- Why didn't you kill him when you had the ******** chance, newbie?
Zexion: -as himself- I only had a pen, but they took it away from me. Blame the system.
Larxene: -as herself- You should have pushed him down the elevator shaft.
Zexion nodded slowly. "I was."
Vexen: -as Zexion- Now, are there any other obvious things you'd like to point out, you idiotic harlot? -lightning'd!-
"He's a criminal! He's no better than the rest of us!" Larxene stared hard at Zexion. "I heard he killed a man."
Zexion: Again, surprising no one.
Demyx: -takes out sitar and starts singing- I shot a man in Reno~ Just to watch him die~!
Axel snorted and rolled his eyes. "Ignore her. Every time she sees a new patient come in with Dr. Even she goes off on her conspiracy theory rants. "Dr. Even this! Dr. Even that!" I get sick of it..."
Zexion: It's not a conspiracy if everything is true.
"Vexen..." Zexion glanced around the group and rubbed his arm stiffly. "His name is Vexen."
Axel snorted again and chuckled. "Don't let yourself get on a first name basis with these douche bags... They use that to make you feel comfortable. It's a form of psychology... They try to make you think that you're one of their good friends. But it's all bull s**t, really."
Zexion: And since when is Axel a psychologist?
Larxene: Is he right?
Zexion: ...
"Well what does it matter? If it makes you feel better then isn't that a good thing?" Zexion shrugged.
Vexen: Finally, some proper characterization!
Demyx: Aw, come on, Vex! Zex isn't that selfish!
Zexion: ...
"Not if they're trying to get information out of you." Axel glanced around before leaning closer to Zexion. "I committed an act of arson about five years ago.
Everyone: Surprising NO ONE.
Killed about fifteen people. They still haven't pinned it on me! I'm only in here for five more months. They picked me up for setting cars on fire and pushing them off cliffs but if they found out I killed fifteen people I'd be in this s**t hole for the rest of my life!"
Zexion furrowed his brow. "If that's so then why are you telling me all this?"
Larxene: -as Axel- Because I'm a ******** retard!
Zexion: Now, if he had been like this in reality, then Castle Oblivion would never have happened. Also, rat him out, fic!self! Now! Get your revenge while you can!
Axel laughed loudly. "Well, s**t kid! They think you're ******** crazy! They won't listen to damn thing you say..."
Zexion: Vexen would listen to me.
Vexen: An excuse to make Axel's life a living hell or possibly even kill him? Yes.
Axel smiled. "There are no secrets among the insane... We can tell each other all our deepest secrets and nobody believes a ******** word! I love it... We get the weight off our shoulders and nobody gives a rats a** cause they think you're making it up anyway."
"Oh..." Zexion nodded slowly. "Well in that case..."
"Don't you wanna hear what I did!?" Marluxia spat out randomly. He didn't care if Zexion wanted to know or not... He wanted to tell it.
Larxene: Oh, please. Mar's a glory hog, but he's not a whiny spotlight stealing little b***h.
Vexen: -sneers and rolls his eyes- Oh, please. Twelve, you make too much of an effort for that arrogant, effeminate thing.
Larxene: -sweetly- Vexy, I'd ask you to say that to my face, except I conveniently possess kunai. Now hold still.
Nadra: No blood on the furniture!
Axel rolled his eyes and stood up. "This story is old news. See you later..."
Zexion watched Axel walk away before turning his attention back to Marluxia. "What did you do?"
Vexen: -rubs temples- Wait, wait, this is beginning to sound all too familiar to that fool's usual attempts to woo Zexion.
Larxene: -inspects nails- Would not be surprised at all.
Marluxia laughed sadistically. "I used to be blond...
Larxene: -snickers- Oh, we should have brought Mar to this. He would have killed this author right in the face; he despises Aryans. The only reason he didn't kill Lux is because the man's British... And great in bondage.
Demyx: -clamps hands over ears- Don't need to know, don't need to- Hey, wait, speaking of Marluxia, where is he anyway? I thought he was a regular with the twins?
Zexion: Lexaeus wanted to have a "small talk" after the last spork. -makes quote fingers-
Demyx: -gulps- You don't think Lexaeus... killed him, do you?
Vexen: If only.
Zexion: You're confusing him with Axel.
But there was a mix up at my hair salon and I got stuck with somebody who wasn't my usual stylist. She made my hair pink! I freaked out and strangled her with the cord on a hair drier. Then I burned parts of her body with a straightening iron..." Marluxia shrugged. "She didn't die and I decided I like my hair but they won't let me out of here for another four months. And it sucks ‘cause my roots are starting to show."
Zexion: ...That story was...
Larxene: ******** retarded.
Marluxia pouted and turned to Larxene. "Larxene's story is good."
Larxene rolled her eyes and looked at Zexion. "I killed my husband... Big deal."
"AND his mistress!" Marluxia laughed and kicked his legs excitedly. "Doesn't it just knock the pants off of you!?"
"Uhm, sure..." Zexion cleared his throat and wiggled around in his chair. "Anyway, I..."
"Mr. Ienzo." Lexaeus stood a few feet away from the short young man. "Dr. Even would like to speak with you... Privately."
"Ooh... Look who's got Dr. Even's tighty whities in a twist!" Marluxia giggled.
Demyx: Has anyone ever actually heard Marluxia giggle? The guy just, y'know, creeps me out with smirks and evil chuckles. -shudders- So not getting on his bad side.
"Shut up, f**..."
Larxene: Yeah, Mar would go on a murdering spree.
Zexion: -gritting his teeth- I am above such vulgar language. I believe we should indeed have Marluxia view this trash.
Zexion glared at Marluxia and stood. "He probably doesn't even wear tighty whities..."
Larxene: -cackles- You repeated him. For some reason, imagining you say that is just.. priceless. Ah, I love these things.
Zexion grumbled and walked with Lexaeus back to the door he'd come through only minutes earlier. As it groaned slowly open he could see those piercing green eyes digging deep into his. "Vexen?"
"Come with me Zexion. I need to have a word with you..." Vexen turned on heel and motioned for Zexion to follow. He led the boy down the many long corridors to a quiet location. He stood in the hall looking through the barred plastic windows out at the filthy sky. "You lied to me..."
Vexen: -snorts- What else is new? Since when have you told the full truth to anyone, Zexion?
Zexion: I'll have you know I tell the truth to Xemnas... most of the time. -coughs-
Zexion tensed up. "Vexen, I..."
Larxene: -as Zexion- ...am not a virgin.
Demyx: -sputters and goes red- You're not!?
Zexion: -blinks in confusion- No... You.. weren't aware of that?
Demyx: -goes quiet and looks down at lap-
Zexion: -is Confused-
Larxene: -is Amused and Knowing-
Vexen: -is Annoyed and WTFing-
"One thing I expect from my patients is honesty Mr. Ienzo.
Vexen: Actually, I expect insanity. Conspiracy theorist Larxene? Axel, who already admitted that everyone thinks they're lying anyway? Why would I expect honesty?
But you lied to me... You may have killed that woman's cats but you did that when you were eleven. I checked your records..." Vexen waved a thick file in the air before slinging it down at Zexion's feet. "Physical and mental abuse!? Rape!? Drug use!?"
Demyx: Wait, did he inflict it or take it?
Zexion: Now, if this were proper characterization, you wouldn't even have to ask.
Vexen cleared his throat and eyed his new patient. "Why didn't you tell me your parents were so awful? This isn't insanity, it's a cry for help.
Zexion: -sigh- And of course I'm the inflicted...
Larxene: The joke's getting old, fandumb.
One heard a little too late..."
"I wouldn't think they'd have those kinds of awful things on file..."
Vexen: Why wouldn't they?
Zexion rubbed his arm and stared down at his file like it was a window to his past. A cold and evil window he'd rather kept shut. "You can burn that thing... That isn't who I am anymore. I'm eighteen now. ******** those people. They don't exist..."
Zexion: Again with the OOC swearing? Ugh.
"No they don't..." Vexen stepped toward Zexion and kicked the file away. "They don't exist anymore because you killed them.
Vexen: Well, that's slightly more in character.
Zexion: Except for the part where I got caught.
But they still exist up here..." Vexen touched a finger to Zexion's left temple. "And they still exist in here." He lowered his hand from Zexion's head to his chest.
Larxene: -in a sing song voice- I foresee molestation in your future~
Demyx: Am I the only one who finds it really weird that it's Vexen spouting the psychological babble and not Zex?
"And they'll exist there forever, still hurting you. Unless you do something about it. I can help you but you have to let me in. You can't lie to me and expect me to be able to help you with false information."
Zexion: I don't want you to help me. You don't know what you're doing. This isn't your specialty!
"I'd rather not talk about what they did to me..." Zexion crossed his arms and looked away from the doctor. "I don't need help.
Zexion: Hallelujah! Proper characterization!
I just need to be locked up where I can't hurt anybody..."
Vexen: Except where it's so pathetically not.
"Does that include yourself?" Vexen reached out and grabbed Zexion's arm. He turned the boy's hand palm up and took note of a deep scar tracing all the way up his arm. "That's the real reason you didn't want that nurse putting on an identification bracelet. You didn't want him to see you've attempted suicide... You don't think that we wouldn't see that when we read your file?"
Zexion: Why does the author think I'm that stupid?
Larxene: Because she's that stupid.
Zexion tore his arm away. "I don't care! I'm tired of people feeling sorry for me! All those social workers feeling so sorry but nothing they could do! Everybody feels sorry but nobody can help me!"
Larxene: Wah, wah! Wangst, wangst, wangst. Pfft, crybaby. Get over it, wuss.
"I don't feel sorry for you... But I can help you." Vexen crossed his arms. "Your file says you were admitted into the hospital for that nice cut up your arm a year ago. You almost died..."
"Just another thing I failed at!" Zexion crossed his arms and looked at the doctor bitterly. He was beginning to change his opinion on this man very quickly.
Zexion: No, I always knew he was a nosy, perfectionist, temperamental genius.
Vexen smiled and pulled a set of keys from his pocket. He turned to the gate over the plastic windows and unlocked it. Before Zexion could even question his motive, he threw the window open and forced Zexion onto the ledge. "There you go!"
There's an odd moment of silence.
Demyx: Dude. What the hell.
Zexion: Who in the name of Kingdom Heart's gave you a license, Vexen!?
Larxene: -laughing too hard to comment-
Zexion stood petrified. He could practically see the entire town... This had to be the tallest building there. He looked down at the cemented side walk below in terror. "Vexen! What the ********!?"
Vexen released the grip he had on Zexion's top and smiled. "You're complaining that you failed at killing yourself! It's my job to help you accomplish your goals. Don't worry, a fall from this height is sure to kill you... I'll even give you a little push if you'd like!"
Larxene: And you ******** wondered why I said he was out of his goddamn mind.
Zexion: Dammit all, Vexen, I can kill myself on my own, thank you!
Vexen tapped Zexion's back lightly and received a rather loud squeal in return.
"Vexen! Are you ******** insane!?" Zexion reached back and grabbed Vexen's jacket tightly.
Demyx: Why is anyone asking? Vexen created creepy clones! Clones!
Vexen: For science!
Demyx: yeah, but they're still creepy! And your laugh! You can't tell me that your laugh isn't creepy.
Vexen: Yes, well, that's the whole point of it. I worked on it very hard with a vocal coach and another soul aspiring to be an evil genius. Which reminds me, I wonder how Billy is doing...
Demyx: ...Oh. So it's creepy and awesome on purpose?
Vexen: -huffs- Yes.
Demyx: Ah. Well, um, in that case, you're real good at it. you have the sound down and everything.
Vexen: Thank you.
"No my friend, you are!" Vexen laughed and tried to shake his arm free of Zexion's grasp. "Go on now... Isn't this what you want?"
Zexion: Actually, now that I think about it, this sounds suspiciously like Xehanort instead of Vexen.
"No!" Zexion clung to Vexen's arm for dear life. "No... Please Dr. Even!" He could feel the tears start to flow down his cheeks. "Please! I don't wanna die! I wanna live!"
Zexion: Want to. Want to. What kind of uneducated, slang-using fool do you take me for?
Vexen smiled at Zexion evilly. "If you don't want to die then why did you attempt suicide?"
Demyx: Still wondering how Vexen is a legal doctor, with, y'know, papers and everything.
Larxene: It's run by Xemnas. What did you expect?
"It's different now!" Zexion was growing desperate. "Please... I have a reason to live now!"
Zexion: Are you kidding me? After seeing the fools in charge of a so-called 'mental hospital', a place that's supposed to help poor fools in need, I should want to die even more.
Vexen stared at him calmly. "Oh, What? To get help? You don't want help, remember?"
"Yes! Yes I do! I want your help... I need it!" Zexion held onto Vexen tightly. After a moment of silence he felt himself being pulled back into the building. Once he was safely inside he fell to the ground and began to cry hysterically. "What the ********!?"
Larxene: I think we're all saying that by now.
Demyx: Amen!
Vexen leaned down and yanked Zexion to his feet. "When I was your age I killed my father... No real reason. I just did it...
Demyx: Jeez louise, is there anyone who hasn't done something insane and killed some one in this story?
Vexen: If the fool knows what's good for them, then Lexaeus.
Zexion: Don't get your hopes up.
I tried to kill myself but as you can well see that didn't go through. They locked me up in a ******** institution and every day I just kept thinking of ways that I could kill myself in that place. Then one day a man named Saïx threw me out of a second story window.
Larxene: I can't believe I'm saying this, but go Saix.
I woke up in the infirmary and he was there. He said that I obviously wanted to live because I fought like hell to keep from falling. I realized he was right... So I decided that once I was released I was going to become a doctor that specialized in mental patients. Here I am twenty years later doing the same thing for you.
Demyx: Um, should you really be following Saix's example?
I'm not here to tell you you're sick or that you need help. I'm here to offer my help and you can take it or leave it. I get paid either way..."
Zexion: There! That's slightly more in-character.
Vexen turned away from Zexion and started down the hall. "But one piece of advice, whether you want my help or not... Before anybody can stop feeling sorry for you, you have to stop feeling sorry for yourself."
Vexen: Now, you see, if you were writing properly, writer, then I wouldn't have to say this.
Zexion: If this was being properly written to begin with, then you'd be in the back, messing around with the chemicals on the prisoners to your AU heart's content.
Wewt! Alrighty… So for those of you who’ve been waiting for this, I’m sorry it took so long. I didn’t want to do what I did with my XigDem fic and post it as I typed it. I wanted to have this all finished before I shared it but then I lost my inspiration for it (mind you, I started this one BEFORE I started my XigDem fic) and I realized that the only thing that would inspire me to continue is if I have no choice BUT to continue if I have readers waiting for it.
I know ZekuVeku isn’t a popular pairing. I honestly don’t see why…
Vexen: -snort- They're too busy pairing me with Marluxia of all people.
Seriously, it drives me crazy to no end that people pair Zexion and Lexaeus. Poor Zexy! We don’t want him broke in half do we? Lexy is so big!
Zexion: -sarcastically- Yes, because clearly Lexaeus doesn't know his own strength!
It’s like a Great Dane ******** a Chihuahua!
Demyx: Gah! Cannot unsee! Cannot unsee!
Lol… THAT and I just have a hard time imagining Lexaeus like that. You know… All sexual and stuff. I just can’t see it.
Zexion: Oddly enough, idiot author, one can have a romantic relationship without it being purely sexual in nature! Gasp! Shock! [/sarcasm]
Larxene: She obviously hasn't been looking for the LexZex hard enough. Retard.
However I hope that you give this fic a chance even though it’s not your run of the mill LekuZeku or MarluVeku.
Vexen: Shouldn't she be talking about Zemyx instead? That's considerably more popular then Lexaeus and Zexion.
Demyx: -coughs, face red- I wouldn't say that...
Zexion: I stopped giving this fic a chance the second it had me acting so ridiculously out of character. Honestly.
I still think this is a fairly well written story (despite the first few chapters being OLDER THAN OLD) and I know if you give it a chance you’ll agree Zexion + Vexen sexiness the likes of which this world has never seen.
Zexion: From what I know, James was already a cheerful supporter of that concept. This fic, so far, has just made it ridiculously OOC and idiotic. Vexen, never become a psychologist.
Vexen: Ugh, you can rest assured. I have no plans at all to follow that career.
Larxene: God forbid, that would actually have you interacting with people! -mocking dramatic gasp-
This story is of course an AU because it is part of a collection of AU Organization XIII fics I decided I would do to make myself write more frequently. About this chapter, it’s VERY LONG.
Zexion: Pffft, she thinks this is long?
Demyx: Yeah, I'm with Larx. What kinda fanfic is she reading?
I hadn’t intended for all this information to be dumped in the first chapter already but it has a good stream going so I couldn’t find a good place to break it off. THUS you have a s**t load of information dumped into your lap in the first chapter. This fic? Probably not as long as my XigDem one, we can only pray.
Once again, I own none of these people. You know this. Enjoy:
Vexen: We're done. Finally!
Voxden: -cackles- Not so fast, kiddies!
Nadra: There are other chapters, so, chances are, you might be called on to do this again.
Demyx: -groans- Oh, man! You're killing me here!
Zexion: Vexen, would you assist me in falling out of a second story window?
Vexen: Only if you agree to stab me in the face with a pen.
Larxene: This is going to be so awesome.
