Author: Trilies
Genre: Hurt/Comfort, romance
Word length: 1370
Sypnosis: It was the perfect chance to confess.
Rating: PG
Yaoi/Yuri/Pairings: One-sided Vexen/Lexaeus, Elaeus/Aerith
Permafrost
"Please please please..."
The murmuring slips through the blankness of his mind, and Lexaeus wonders at the familiarity of such a voice. Its almost desperate plea comforts him, in a way, and he feels a kind of distress at the times when it fades away. On one of those occasions, he forces his limbs to move, only for a sharp, terrible pain to jolt through his chest. A harsh gasp rips out of his throat and Lexaeus is suddenly aware of everything: the cool sheets which press against his bare body, the bandages which scratch against his skin and wind around his chest and head, and a pair of freezing hands that push gently at his shoulders as the voice curses and orders, "Elaeus! Sit down right this instant!"
The voice is Vexen's, Lexaeus realizes, and he doesn't have to repeat himself. With a groan, Lexaeus collapses against the bed. His muscles tense for a moment from the remnants of pain before Vexen works on relaxing them with surprisingly nimble fingers. All the while, the Academic quietly curses and when Lexaeus opens his one unbandaged eye, it's his glare that he sees. "So you finally woke up," Vexen sniffs. "Imbecile."
The jab doesn't bother Lexaeus in the slightest. Instead, he simply concentrates on remembering how he could have gotten into such a state: heavily wounded and lying in the Bay of Phoenix with an aggravated Vexen attending to him. The answer comes easier to him than it perhaps would to others in the same situation. "Is Demyx alright?" he rasps.
Vexen loos as if he'd very much like to smack Lexaeus. "Oh, Demyx," he sneers, using the high-pitched tone of voice which gives away his own worry. "IX is perfectly fine! Not a single scratch or bruise on him! Unremarkable, really, considering what you did to get rid of that Heartless back in Halloween Town." He bristles in anger (or what they can remember of it, anyway) before whirling around on his heel with a glower firmly camped out on his face. "He's currently with Zexion, both of them sobbing their eyes out in worry over you."
"Zexion doesn't cry."
"...Fine, no, Zexion doesn't, but Demyx is, and he did go to Zexion for comfort, although I can't see why." Shifting awkwardly in place, Vexen begins to clean up the frenzied medical bay, refusing to look at his injured friend in a mimic of anger. Lexaeus only watches him quietly, noting in his silent way how much more jerkily Vexen moves and the tautness of his mouth. Finally, he says something.
"...Were you worried?"
Instantly, Vexen twists around, hands curled into fists at his side. "It's utterly impossible for a Nobody to feel concern," he practically snarls. "Not concern, nor relief, nor-" He cuts himself off, breathing hard as his body slumps in exhaustion. With that, his shaky hands and the bags underneath his eyes are all the more obvious. Grimacing, Vexen passes a hand over his face, and keeps it there. Lexaeus' expression twists into a frown and he shifts again, definitely intending to get up once more. The action gains Vexen's attention, and he sighs in frustration before he hurries over to Lexaeus. "What did I tell you? Lay down, you'll reopen your wounds."
"I apologize." Bent over Lexaeus and readjusting his sheets, Vexen pauses, and makes the mistake of looking right into the other Nobody's eyes. Zexion and Lexaeus have always been a perpetual duo, ever since that storming night when Elaeus and Even found the small, ill child shivering in the gutters of Radiant Garden. Yet, while Zexion can lie and charm like the best of snakes, Lexaeus has always been unable to lie, with his powerful and honest gaze. It was a trait both he and Elaeus share, even now, years after their mistake.
When Vexen finally finds his voice, he tries to fake casualness. "Well, you should." He snorts, and steps away from the bed only so that he can drag a chair to the bedside. "I doubt any one of us would know what to do or how to react if you died. Stop making idiot hero decisions. Just because you have the title, Lexaeus, doesn't mean you have to act the part."
"I don't mean that," Lexaeus sighs. He regrets very little, even decisions such as those. "I mean for setting you off. You've never been so touchy before, on the matter of our hearts."
"Sleep deprivation," Vexen counters simply. "It's a time-consuming task, you realize, to watch over some one as injured as you, and any of the others who I could trust with such a task are off on a mission. Of course I'm going to be all nerves, Lexaeus." With a humph, he crosses his arms and turns away slightly, even as he knows Lexaeus is staring at him with a look that clearly says 'I don't believe you'.
There's an awkward silence while Vexen purposefully ignores Lexaeus, running over the composition of the human body in his head. For once, however, Lexaeus doesn't seem willing to live up to the 'silent' portion of his title, for the silence is quickly broken. "Was..." He pauses, running over the words in his head and on his tongue before he finally speaks them. "Was Even in love with Elaeus?"
Quiet again. Slowly, Vexen turns to Lexaeus and gives him an exasperated glare. "To worry means I must have held a crush on you in our former lives, now? Honestly, Lexaeus, you're thinking about this too much. Even and Elaeus were friends, colleagues at worst. Now, stop this inane babbling and go back to sleep. You need to rest if you're ever going to fully recover."
Lexaeus gives a small smile at the telling-off, his visible eye crinkling at the edges with the action. "Of course," he agrees, and closes his eyes obediently. In only a few minutes, the gentle giant is fast asleep, his head turned slightly to the side.
Nonetheless, Vexen waits a few more minutes before he presses the palms of his hands against the mattress and leans over Lexaeus, the cool expression gone from his face at once. He almost looks pained as he whispers, just for good measure, "Lexaeus? Are you awake?" He doesn't stir, and, almost shyly, without any of his usual arrogance in sight, Vexen tucks some of his hair behind his ear. Slowly, he eases back into his seat, and clasps his hands together on his lap. Staring down at the mint green sheets, Vexen sighs.
"...It was a mere attraction at first. Physical, and nothing else." He gives a dry laugh. "You were different than anyone else I had ever seen in my life, then. All soft and thin nobles who had never worked a day in their lives... And then there was this large, muscled carpenter's son who carried calluses on his hands and the intelligence to point out flaws in the king's architects' blueprints... You were different, and people either feared such a thing, outcast it, or... well. I was the other." Gently, he reaches over to cup Lexaeus' chin for a moment, studying his face as if trying to find something once lost. "But I could ignore it, for a while. I just had to focus on my studies, working hard under Ansem the Wise. Then, right when I had decided to actually try, you had..."
The memories bubble back up to the surface: of Elaeus standing with a shy smile besides a beautiful young woman who smells of flowers and smiles like the sun, of the two of them holding hands, never having to say 'I love you' because it was just so damnably obvious in every single little thing they did, of them dancing around a festival bonfire and looking at no one else and... and...
And he died for her. The ultimate show of loyalty, of adoration.
Vexen finally opens his eyes, not realizing he had squeezed them shut. The exhaustion from two days with no sleep and all work suddenly hits him like a train wreck, and he slumps over the bed. With a weary sigh, he folds his arms on the bed and lays his head down on them.
"And you wouldn't be able to give that to me even if you wanted to, Lexaeus."
