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-Setting is in castle throne room. Various gifts are being cluttered around Baby!Nam's crib.-
Zexion: I'm so pleased with how well our rape!baby came out, I might just let you not be completely dominated in bed tonight. heart biggrin
Luxord: Ah ha, thank goodness for life's little blessings. :/ And could you please not call it that?
Zexion: What did you say, sweetie? D:<
Luxord: NOTHING DEAR, I LOVE YOU.
-Voxden, Ienzo, and Nadra waltz in, fairy wings and drag and all, except Nadra who refused to dress up and is still dressed like an engineer-
Ienzo: HEY, ZEX, LOOK WHO'S HERE!
Zexion: b***h, GET OUT. DDD:<
Ienzo: Ha ha, look, I have breasts too, we should totally have some hot incest lesbian action. Or would that be masturbation?
Zexion: GET OFF OR I WILL END YOU.
Voxden: Chillax, homie-Z!
Nadra: -cocks gun-
Voxden: -pouts- I mean, relax, we're totally just here to bless your sweet little daughter here. Awwww, lookit the little- wait, s**t, she's a blonde. D:< ******** THAT.
Luxord: -spazz- GET AWAY FROM MY DARLING. D:<
Voxden: I'm a doctor, you can trust me! biggrin
Nadra: Yeah, he's totally lying. >> Anyway, we're just here to do that fairy stuff, bless your kids, et cetera... You know.
Ienzo: Oh, oh, I'll go first! biggrin
Zexion: GET AWAY FROM MY CHILD, DAMMIT YOU'RE ALWAYS RUINING EVERYTHING I WORKED HARD FOR THIS KINGDOM.
Luxord: >> You were born into thi-
Zexion: Honey. Sweet pea. My adorable gambling husband, shut. The. ********. Up.
Luxord: D: -cowers-
Ienzo: -ignoring them- Princess Naminé, I bless upon you beauty and and ingenuity, so that you can get men and women underneath your heel just like your dear mother. heart Yet still retain your natural innocence. Wouldn't want another criminal dictator now!
Zexion: D:< ******** you.
Voxden: Now, now, ladies. As much arousal as I would get from watching the two of you twins fight each other, it's my turn. Ahem. Heya, Nam! I bless upon you a mysterious ability, that even I don't know what it is, because I feel like being a d**k. heart Have fun.
Zexion: Double ******** you. GUARDS.
Lexaeus: -is threatening-
Roxas: -is threatening with the help of a large sword-
-DOOR IS PROMPTLY KICKED DOWN-
Larxene: HEY HO, ********. >: D
Luxord: s**t. D:
Larxene: Heeeey, it's Luxord! From Fairytale college! heart Do you still whimper in bed?
Luxord: -sputters-
Zexion: Yes, he does. >>
Luxord: -close to dying on spot-
Axel: Sometimes, I'm really happy I let you get married to her. biggrin
Marluxia: -scoots over to Zexion- Well, hello there, MamaZex.
Zexion: Back off. >>
Marluxia: But I can offer you really good sex! And world domination!
Zexion: Oh. Oh. Mmm mmm mm.
Luxord: -thinking to self- My wife in a position of power even higher than this one? s**t! -outloud- Zexion, don't do it!
Marluxia: More like Sexion...
Luxord: Shut up. D:<
Zexion: And why shouldn't I?
Luxord: You have me!
Zexion: And?
Luxord: And a daughter!
Zexion: I can always take her with me.
Luxord: And Newton's Sixth Law of Heroes states that villains will always be defeated in humiliating ways by a wandering hero! You have your whole life of pimping (oh god I cannot believe I just said that) and organized crime and royalty ahead of you!
Zexion: Point. I'll have to decline, Marluxia.
Marluxia: Oh, you cockblocker.
Larxene: Save your attempts at getting laid for later, Mar. >> I'm pissed at not being invited. You guys want blessings? Well, suck it. Princess Naminé, I give upon you the blessing of getting ******** over at age 15 when you next wander off.
Xigbar: Dude, that's not a blessing.
Larxene: 'Dude', that's your next ticked to hell. D:< Say one more word. I dare you. -humphs and storms out, Marluxia in tow-
-Silence-
Xigbar: Well, s**t. :
Luxord: Wait, wait, hold on. Don't we have one more blessing? -stares pointedly at Nadra-
Nadra: What? Oh, fine. Damn. -sighs- I bless Princess Naminé with the good luck of not dying from Larxene's curse, and she'll even get a hottie to save her. Or something. How do fairytales go again?
Ienzo: Well, that's all from the three of us! heart Ciao~
-The three 'good faeries' leave-
-pause-
Luxord: Wait, she said 'hottie', she didn't say a 'prince'. D: TOO VAGUE.
Zexion: Goddamn fairytales.
Vexen: And you people wonder why I'm a man of science.