It's about 11:30pm at night, and tomorrow morning I am leaving out early to go to Busch Gardens and just enjoy myself with my friend TJ from school. Yes, a guy friend. No, I don't like him that way and won't because I have my heart set on someone else, and dating TJ would just be... Weird. o.o;
I'm all right now; this past few weeks have been pretty rough. Last week was long and difficult, getting physically pounded to the ground, and then resting today, and no longer aching terribly... I'm all right now. I'm happy, calm... Ready to accept things I wasn't ready to accept.
I'm still in a really difficult position though... It's hard to explain. My girl friends would know what I mean, the few of them that know what it's like to love someone but it not entirely be returned. The urges to tell them you love them, they're so difficult to cope with. One of these days I'll end up slipping up and blurting it out and then I'll feel like a complete idiot afterwards. I don't know if I'll feel better afterwards or worse, ha ha.
So tonight I'll be in bed around one or two, get up at 8-ish, and have a hopefully great day. Rain or shine I'm going to be running around Busch Gardens enjoying myself. So yeah, I'm just ranting now. Nothing else really to say. I really forgot why I was even going to write this entry. Watch, I'll remember it later and edit it.
~~
2:40am Edit:
So I've been in an incredibly strange and playful mood for several hours now, you know, one of those moods to where you can barely contain all the energy and happiness. But I guess it's all finally catching up to me and I'm finally starting to calm down. Being misunderstood sometimes is... critical, I guess. I can't even really clarify or explain myself right now to fix it either because I'm so tired. I guess this is one of those moods that really cover up how I feel. I wish it were easier to really explain things. But I guess it's only a matter of time before I give in, break down, and just let go of everything I've been holding back. Unfortunately that could either go very well or very bad. And the last time, well... It went pretty bad.
Sleep at 3:15am... Wake at 8:0am...
I'm all right now; this past few weeks have been pretty rough. Last week was long and difficult, getting physically pounded to the ground, and then resting today, and no longer aching terribly... I'm all right now. I'm happy, calm... Ready to accept things I wasn't ready to accept.
I'm still in a really difficult position though... It's hard to explain. My girl friends would know what I mean, the few of them that know what it's like to love someone but it not entirely be returned. The urges to tell them you love them, they're so difficult to cope with. One of these days I'll end up slipping up and blurting it out and then I'll feel like a complete idiot afterwards. I don't know if I'll feel better afterwards or worse, ha ha.
So tonight I'll be in bed around one or two, get up at 8-ish, and have a hopefully great day. Rain or shine I'm going to be running around Busch Gardens enjoying myself. So yeah, I'm just ranting now. Nothing else really to say. I really forgot why I was even going to write this entry. Watch, I'll remember it later and edit it.
~~
2:40am Edit:
So I've been in an incredibly strange and playful mood for several hours now, you know, one of those moods to where you can barely contain all the energy and happiness. But I guess it's all finally catching up to me and I'm finally starting to calm down. Being misunderstood sometimes is... critical, I guess. I can't even really clarify or explain myself right now to fix it either because I'm so tired. I guess this is one of those moods that really cover up how I feel. I wish it were easier to really explain things. But I guess it's only a matter of time before I give in, break down, and just let go of everything I've been holding back. Unfortunately that could either go very well or very bad. And the last time, well... It went pretty bad.
Sleep at 3:15am... Wake at 8:0am...
