stare As some of you closer friends know,my grandparents are divorced.My grandfather cheated on my grandmother.My family has been split apart.I might as well not even have a family.Christmas is a time for mourning instead of a time for joy.I haven't talked to my grandfather for about 4 years.Seems impossible,but it wasn't.I'm almost completely sure if I saw him in a store,he wouldn't recongize me,nor my family.He lives just down the street from my grandmother.(She's trying to move)...We rode by his house this evening.I felt a sudden rush inside of me.I just wanted to jump our of the car,knock on his door,and simply say to him,'Do you know who I am?Do you know where I've been for the past 4 years?Do you recongize me?Do you even care?You've ruined my family just to be with that whore?Don't ever plan of having a relationship with me ever!'...I don't really think of him as a grandfather.I don't think of him as an anything.He is nothing to me.He cheated my grandmother,put her through hell for 40 damn years just to waste it all on a whore who has been married 4 times.Trust?Nothing.Love?None.Hate?It's found here.I don't ever want a relationship with him.Whenever I see his house,I cringe at the thought of seeing him.I've seen him through a window,sitting at a dinner table,with that whore,just as happy as can be.My grandmother?She doesn't give a s**t what the man does.None of my side of the family does.I have a grandmother,a great grandmother,an aunt,2 cousins.Oh that would be the only one's I talk to.I have another aunt,two uncles,and about 5 cousins.But since they were sided with Chris,no talk is between us.I don't miss Christmas Partys....I don't miss Thanksgiving Dinner,and I sure as hell don't miss birthdays.They were assholes the whole time I was there.I'm a little kid,and they're in there talking about me like I'm a damn dog.My mother and my grandmother are the only one's who do anything worth a s**t at parties.And what do I get?Nothing!That's how my life works.I'd just love to walk up to him,simply say,'I've grown up now...You had nothing to do with me...And you never will..'I'm really different now.When I was little,I would just sit there and think,'Why is mom so mad at him?Did he do something so bad for all of them to hate him?If I ever saw him,then I'd walk up and give him a hug..'I never realized what was really going on.Now I'm grown up.I see what I didn't see before.I see that life is full of s**t,and there's no changing it.My family is as mixed up as I am,and that's pretty sad.I've taken a lot of s**t in my life,and the only thing I can think,is that it has made me stronger,it has made me feel independant.I can handle anything you want to throw at me,so try me,I'm not so nice anymore..