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so i have decieded the only way to become who i had once been is to relive my past and shock my self back to where i once was and maybe then i can make it better then that way things wont be so bad i think. like in cooking to shock food you shove them in boiling water and then stick them in an ice bath. take that method but put it in a brain kind of an image.then peel back this shell that has encased me to protect me and that is failing it cant even protect me as i am so there is no need for it anymore a time of change