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Ok. So some of you may know this, and those of you who don't and who bother to look in here will find out now, but I suffer from Diabetes and all the LOVELY complications from it. Some of those said complications are high blood pressure, kidney failure and edema. Ede-what you say? Lemme try and explain it the best way I understand it.

When your body produces too much sugar and not enough insulin to break it down, you end up spilling protein and sugars into your urine. This is an early detection of kidney failure, which is what I'm dealing with. When your kidneys start to fail, they can't pull water and toxins out of your body. Those waters and toxins then build up in your body causing you to feel like crap. And in most cases to swell up, retaining that water in places such as your legs, feet and sometimes your heart. This is what is called Edema.

So I have been doing fairly well controlling my sugars, controlling my weight (even though I'm still heavy I lost over 100lbs so far and am still losing) and staying away from foods that would cause an unnecessary bloatage (like that, I made that up right there, lol) Ok, so I made terriyaki pork and rice the other night. BIG mistake, apparently, cuz for the last 3 days I have been dealing with chest pains, leg pains and prolly like 30lbs of extra water on my legs, literally. You can scratch my leg and water will seep out. You can LOOK at my legs and see that the left one is 2x as big as the right and something is wrong. Yesterday I couldn't even get out of the house my legs hurt so bad.

Oh, wait, why is my doc as a**? Heh. I'm getting to that. I managed to get my swollen feet into my shoes after calling his office and asking if he had an opening or if I should go to urgent care. OF COURSE they don't want you to go to urgent care, that makes them look bad. So they said to come in at 1:30 and they would schedule me in. Now, the hour wait in the waiting room wasn't the issue. Nor was the hour spent in the exam room waiting for him to see me. But as soon as he comes in he says "So you're falling apart are you?" -.- Nice joke at my expense. But hey, I have a sense of humor and said something along the lines of yeah, seems so these last couple of days. He then proceeds to ask me, yet again, why I was there. I pointed down at my legs. He grabbed the left one hard, squeezed it until I cried out in pain and water came out of my pours, and said yep, looks like you're swollen. WTF?!? Oh, it gets better. He looks at my chart again and tells me that my lab results for my kidneys weren't looking so well and that a weight gain of 7 lbs in 4 months was totally unacceptable and headed in the wrong direction. He then tells me that I was morbidly obese (anyone over 40lbs overweight is "technically morbid" wink and that I needed to join the weight watchers program and take up walking for 2 hrs a day or running like one of his other patients who lost 40lbs and ran a marathon. HOLY s**t, did he JUST tell me I needed to run a ******** marathon?!?

What I WANTED to say to him:

FIRST OFF a*****e, if I'm retaining 30lbs of water so that would be a weight LOSS of 23lbs not a gain of 7. And I just went through a VERY depressing holiday season, so if I HAD only gained 7lbs, I would consider that a VICTORY.

SECOND, I just lost my sole income due to my computer crashing, so to afford something like Weight Watchers, are YOU gonna pay for it, or is my INSURANCE going to? I think not.

THIRD, WTF am I here for? Look at my ******** legs. Do YOU think YOU could walk 2 hrs or run a ******** marathon with THIS going on??? HOLY HELL you are a ******** moron.

What I ACTUALLY said to him:

Well, I will work on the weight loss. As for Weight Watchers, without a job I really can't afford a program like that, so if you can suggest something that's free, I would gladly look into it. And since I don't have a vehicle of my own, I walk to most everywhere I go, so I don't see how I can add in 2 more hours of walking. However I will try to do more exercise once this swelling has gone down. *polite smile while trying not to cry*

So yeah. ******** a**. He gave me a new medication that is supposed to be like 2 waterpills in one as well as has a blood pressure medicine in it (my BP was 195/92 today even with the meds I'm already on for it) Looks like I am calling out from my volunteer work tomorrow so I can spend the day in the bathroom trying to get this excess water off of me. And looking for a new doctor.