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This morning, I finally told my parents I'm not Christian anymore. I half-balled my face out in my room later just thinking about what I did. Its not the thought of them disowning my or anything so much as it is that its a constant reminder of me tearing out a part of them. As if thier entire trust and love for me just dissapeared.

But I couldn't deny my lack of faith. My mom pinned me in my room with questions as of: "Why are you acting this way?" and "Whats wrong?". I couldn't keep it in any longer. I didn't want to lie to my parents about why I won't go to church. I didn't want to hold the secret for the rest of my life. I ran out of options as soon as the questioning started.

But now I feel hollow. Empty. I'm just afraid of what they will think of me, and how this will affect them against me.


EDIT:
It sucks to loose faith at 15, as your still being told to go to church. I actually wish I had faith, at least until I move out. Then it wouldn't be so hard to keep the secret. But then I would have to hold the secret for the rest of my life.

I think I need to lie down.