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someone needs to tell me how it's possible to be tired of the world and angry with it at the same time

because i am. i'm tired of it. tired of people, tired of things, tired of life.

and i'm angry, too. i'm angry with people, mostly. people i knew who hurt me. people who promised to stay but didn't. people who left and came back and told me they wanted me in their lives and then left again.

i'm ******** pathetic, let's be honest.

i've got no friends, and being around people makes me so incredibly anxious that i want to start crying.

i know people wouldn't want me in the first place, but i'm tired of those who have that knowledge and use it to their advantage to hurt me.

(ugh i'm sleepy i almost typed 'use it to their damage')

i'm tired of falling for people. i'm tired of giving pieces of my heart to people, giving myself to people, and being given nothing in return, even for the damage they've done.

that's why i want to be cold now. i don't need a relationship. i don't need friends.
i just want to be alone.