since my last journal entry...Im not drunk this time unfortunately gonk
It's been confirmed a month ago by HR that i've been black listed and i can never apply for carowinds again (Scarowinds for my case) - which. Really. REALLY sucks...I got a call from some lady in HR on a wednesday night saying that they'd love to have me back (first of all she told me she found my request form in a stack of completely unrelated papers. But I wasnt surprised bc HR's a mess and loses peoples s**t all the time) and I remember being so so excited i got off the phone screaming with joy. Fast forward 3 WEEKS of trying to get into contact with somebody because I still couldnt apply online like i was told to do and nobody has any idea whats going on...I finally get in touch with the lady that was in charge of those request forms to only tell me that who ever approved me never had authority to do so...and that my request would have been denied....great...thanks. So i cried for the rest of the day after having hope ripped away from me like that lmao rofl
But y'kno it's kinda nice to finally have that confirmation...even though it didn't go the way I wanted it too...I'm still very blessed that all my monster friends are still with me and they had my back through that HR fiasco..I wish i wasnt too shy to hang out with them more..I miss them.
I had a nice halloween other wise..Dressed up as Pikachu by using one of those animal mitten hats that had pikachu on it and my (very) old pikachu costume i wore when i was like in 1st grade (Had to cut the leg holes a bit so it would fit over my thighs gonk ) passed out candy w my best friend and argued over which version of grim grinning ghosts was better (the 90s disney sing along song VHS version thnx)
I felt like it was very short lived...I wish it could have been longer but everyone was done by 7:30-8:00pm :<
Mental health is still a little rocky...Im seeing a psychiatrist and a behavioral therapist to help cope with my sever general anxiety and bought of sever depression and insomnia...Apparently from my firing experience from Scarowinds and my nightmare of an experience working my first year round job it triggered a slight case of PTSD as well (who fukin knew - but i guess my anxiety made it so traumatic for me it caused PTSD and thats why i get so freaked tf out about finding another job)
Baby steps however...Im waiting on an orientation date email for a potential job and i finally got myself on the right medication and dosage and seeking the proper help I need..It shocked me but I've been surprisingly brave during this trainwreck halloween even on Gaia lmao. I havent been so nervous to post and s**t and it felt pretty good..altho im still not great at keeping UP the conversation :v
Like I said baby steps.
Been obsessed with Splatoon 2 too..so there's that.. :v;;
maybe I'll be more consistent with post updates but idk we'll see lmao
Check out my costume tho! Pretty ingenious i though :B
11/1/17 9:04PM
