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When my mother was in the hospital for her cancer surgery, I read a book by Rebecca Solnit called A Field Guide To Getting Lost. She used the title "The Blue Of Distance" for a number of chapters dealing with various aspects of those key words, blue and distance; in particular, I was struck by the chapter on the artist Yves Klein, and his all-blue canvases and performance art flair (one of his major works, "A Leap Into The Void", was just him leaping into the air, with a photograph taken to document the leap). But the more I think about it, the more I find that phrase applies to my life at this moment.

Don't get me wrong; I'm happier than I've ever been, because I've found someone I truly love and who loves me in return. But I also can't help but feel somewhat sad that we aren't together in the same place. We talk on a daily basis online, and our conversations are always the highlight of my day; but I wish we weren't separated by such a substantial geographical distance. I want to be able to see her in person, not just see pictures on the Internet; I want to be able to hold her and kiss her for real, rather than just imagining.

I've been thinking about this a lot for the past couple of days, trying to think of how we might be able to actually meet. My work schedule and helping my mother make it difficult for me to travel; and her schedule doesn't allow much of an opportunity for her to visit me. I desperately want to be with her; and it's difficult for me to be patient.