I know I messed things up seriously with our friendship...
I'm talking about Steve... (of course...Right?) *sighs* I told him I loved him back in July... and now I am afraid I ruined our out-of-school relationship. I'm also afraid that when I leave school in like, two weeks, he won't call or e-mail me... and I'm afraid he'll forget me... I've been reading this book lately, and that is what has this stuck all up in my head.
I even tried to cut myself today. I would never do that! I didn't break skin or anything, because what I tried to cut with wasn't sharp enough to cut just with a little pressure. I even told Mat, another guy I like, and showed him where I tried to do it, though he thinks I was just messing around with the thing, (it was a very odd pen, with a sharp edge to it.. it really looked like a knife that had ink in it...) But when my friend told me to see how sharp it was, I took it with pleasure and tried to cut my wrist, right infront of her...
I'm so horrible!! >.> I know you all are like "What?! Kags would never do that!" And you are all right, I wouldn't. I never have, and never thought I'd get into such a state where I would try something like that. I don't want him to know I did it either, that would make things so much worse! I just don't want to loose even his friendship... he means way too much to me! I dunno what I would do in life without even his friendship...
Signed,
A very lost, crying, Kags.
Picture of the day:
 E P ii C - P H A ii L · Tue Jan 09, 2007 @ 01:55am · 3 Comments |
