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It sucked walking to school.

Why?

Because I was alone. I have to get used to being alone a lot more. School was alright, a lot of people wondered why I was gone. Some thought I was dead.

My library teacher asked me about Raymond. All I said is that he broke up with me and ran off to be with someone else. My teacher actually felt sorry for me. She's never seen me so depressed. No one has.

The only perk of my day was a guy asking me my name. I saw him before, and his jacket reminds me of Raymond's. He seemed nice. But all guys "seem" nice.

I stayed for club, I didn't feel like watching Full Metal Panic, and I didn't want to feel like a third wheel with John and Alexia. I've also gotten closer to Alexia over the past few days, shes really nice.

On the way home I got shouted at by guys. They made fun of my breasts and called me a lesbian. Wow, I have big boobs, does that make me a lesbian?

Eh. I really hate my body. I want to be skinner. Raymond said he liked me the way I was, I just have a feeling that he lied to me about that. I have a horrid figure, horrid hair, hell, I even hate my eyes. I don't want to be who I am anymore. I want to change completely. Physically, mentally, emotionally. I'm not the kind of person people see as "sexy" or "pretty". I'm just there.

It pisses me off so much.

Oh, and I played Traffic Ballet in the rain. Got clipped once by an SUV and they honked. I smiled and waved and shouted "THANK YOU". One day I'll get run over. Who knows, maybe tomorrow.

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