View User's Journal

Welcome to Gaia! :: View User's Journal | Gaia Journals

I noticed something, I cry in my sleep.

I'm really getting tired of all this. Its never going to end. The dreams, the hurt, the lies, the fact that I can't do anything. I'm just a stupid c**t, and thats why I deserve all this.

I'm always at the brink of crying, even when I am laughing at a joke, or listening to a teacher, or just typing on a computer and having a nice conversation.

People tell me I have something to live for, or that I have to find it again. To be honest, I'm too stupid to go out there and find it. I deserve this pain that I brought upon myself, so why not wallow in it and let it take me down?

Waking up each day doesn't feel the same. Just this hollow feeling of getting up and turning off the bloody alarm clock, putting on my shorts and walking to the bathroom to wash my face and brush my teeth. And today it just feels worse.

I don't want to get ready for school. It sucks. I just want to go back to bed and dream, even if it hurts me.

But I shall not.

Its Traffic Ballet again.

Welcome to Gaia! :: View User's Journal | Gaia Journals

More Information