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Its funny. I just can't win. I want to tell people to stop talking about their love lives, but I don't want to hurt them. Whenever I see someone in love, it makes me want to whack my head on a desk, and I did that several times today.
Nothing I can do to change things, nothing I can do to even get rid of these feelings.
I narrowly dodged a car on the way home. And I wasn't even playing my game. I was just walking along the gutter like I always do and suddenly a Mustang speeds by. If I was about three inches closer, I would have been hit.
Its so easy to get hit on El Camino.
I know you guys as friends care about me a lot. Thats why its so hard. My parents love me as well, but its just so different. I can't explain it. I have no reason to live. Yet I'm forced to go to school, to eat, and to go to bed.
I'm tired of doing things that others want me to do. I want to do something for myself. Leaving would be nice. Or just falling off the face of the earth, and hope that one day my knight will come and save me. (And that day, it will not come) Its hopeless.
Others are getting their lives on track, good for them. I'm happy they're happy. But I'm not happy about my life. Not a chance in hell.
Though one guy seems to know my name now. And he actually remembers me. He looks like the friend type. I need more male friends anyway.
But I don't know how long I can last.
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Community Member