Here I am, right now, listening to music on youtube. I feel super hyped. It's kind of crazy, usually when I'm with myself, alone. I feel this urge to cry all day because of how much I hate my self and what's going on with myself, but right now, I have music and I've never felt so alive in my life.
Just me, music, and the internet. I wish I could feel this way all the time. But of course, I won't. One day that'll change, I hope. But right now, I'll have to learn to deal with it. Crying, suicidal thoughts, just leaving in general will always be in my head, with me forver. SCARRED. Scars are hard to go away, some are forever there.
And there's nothing you can do. Just hope for the best, and if the best doesn't come your way, what is it there to do?
Just sit there and continuing hoping? Cope with it? Or die it out.
I just wish there was a easier way of dying it out, without having to have your body die out with it.
But what if you want to die out with it, but don't know exactly how? What if things changes? What if you would change in the mean while, so do you still sit and wait?
What my plan is....die out with it. Sooner or later. Unless I become a stronger person, but then again, I dont know how to be a stronger person. No one can ever teach me to be a stronger person either. It's all in my hands/
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TyzoeCupcake
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