Wow i haven't written here in a while. i dunno i need to write i need to let it out but its weird because i thought it would never happen to me. Not with him at least, but like every other time i was wrong. Nu shocker there.
I have never been a jealous person. I'm still not but something about it made me hurt you know. I almost cried but i held back because well I'm so good at not crying its almost automatic now.
I guess its different i mean. Everyone in my past has always made me feel a certain way but never the same. This one is the best feeling yet which makes me sad to think that the pain will be worse.
Ugh i must be going crazy or something because im actually... sad? worried? I dont know im.... scared.
scared that the fantasy will be over and I will be hurt... again. I know i will, i pray i wont but im anxious anyways. You would think i would get use to being broken. But he said he wouldnt hurt me ever.
i believe him its something about his voice that just makes me trust him i suppose im just a corny teenage girl. I blame him for that, but you know what? Its a good thing. I honestly believe i love him. I can feel that i crave him, but i know... I may never own him. really own him. Now own like an object but as in claim as mine so he can claim me too. So i can touch him smile at him, let him hear my heart beat when he says he loves me. I dunno i feel so happy talking to him, and i love hes honest with me because i dont lie i will never lie to him because its not me.
I hope it lasts i really do. Till the end of time. But at the same time i want him to be happy. I know it hurt wanting someone so bad that when you cant have them is pain. I dont want him to hurt. I dont want anyone to hurt. Hes so sweet and adorable that if he ever tells me he met someone i would suck up my pride and whatever i feel and smile and say im happy for you and pray he will still be my friend. Just like most things i do I suffer alone.
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Dark mind ahead! >: ) jk its just me ^^
I want my friends to know a little more about me ^^and my expiriances n stuff like that n sometime i just write to get all my emotions out
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<>*D*A*R*K*<>
The Dark.... It is not something EVIL,
It is simply Misunderstood
It is simply Misunderstood
