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ALL YOUR SOULS ARE BELONG TO CTHULU!

I had a revelation the other day. I realized that the purpose of my existence was to build a 2-wheeled unicycle.

This Valentine's Day, give her something that lasts forever.
Give her herpes.

How did the Borg get into space to begin with? Their ships were essentially massive cubes. It's all well and good in space, but how the hell do you launch a cube?

Honestly, why don't they just give George Clooney the "Best ******** Human Being Ever to Draw Breath" award and then let him rest in obscurity so I never have to see his sneering raccoon face again.

You don't get much deader than Euronymous.

If your baby cries during the movie, don't try to gentle him. Take him out of the theater before I eat him. I'll seriously cut his throat and spit roast him if I can't hear the emotional dog scene in I Am Legend.

Let there be p4nc4k35!

And lo, they were good.

It's 3:00. Where is your God now?

I had the hottest dream last night. Willie Nelson was mauled by a bear right in front of me. I'll be depositing that in the Spank Bank, and no mistake. heart


More later.