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My stinky journal
The online Journal that no one hardly ever reads about an extremely obsessed Blake Lewis fan's life.
Well its been 3 years, is this goodbye?
Tommorrow is my thirteenth birthday. The day I will be able to log into my first Gaia account. Through 2 years I have been paitently waiting to log in to that account, I never gave up hope that once I got into that account my Gaia life would go back to normal, I would get back all my old friends, old items, and even finish my old dream avatar. I never gave up hope, yeah, untill today. I don't know if I will want to be on Gaia anymore, looking at that old account, all my friends have probably moved on and forgotten about me, I probably didn't have the items I remember... But, I don't know that.. My Gaia life all depends on tommorrow. And throughout the years I have met many new friends, that are really nice and probably sure as whatnot nicer than the old friends I had on Gaia. I think I've had a speck of a lot better time being known as Maddyline, and not Magic_by_heart. I've been thinking about quitting since october, can anyone stop whatever my desision will be? I dont think so. No one could understand how many times I've quit Gaia and came back, if I did now I know I wouldn't be, for sure. And I'd be quitting my account, I would still have Blake Lewis Fans to log into. All the times I've quit before, I obviously didn't know what quitting was, why I quit before? I don't know, and what pushed me to come back all those times before? I don't know that etheir. This year, 2008, I can't believe myself how much my life has changed, I didn't used to like change, but overtime you realize everything changes overtime no matter what it is, kids grow up, and websites change too. I'm not trying to sound like some negative fool, but if someone forgets you that you knew for 3 years, just because you left some website then came back, they arent your best friend. Online or not.
I've had so many bad expierences on Gaia, this website taught me so many things, if I wanted to know them or not. One of the many things it taught me is age is no excuse, it doesn't matter if your three years old some idiot can still insult you and get away with it and make you the one who gets in trouble, in fact, no, thats something straight up the internet taught me. Gaia did teach me BBCode, ha. I think this year I realized so many things, I don't even want to try and write a list, on paper or an internet blog or anything. I know now to think before you speak or type or whatever, thats for sure. I don't love Gaia, I don't think I ever did. And as hard as I try I really can't think of a reason to quit, but I can't really think of a reason to stay. And I'm really not trying to make my friends angry or sad or anything, if you really wanna be my friend you should be reading this hence the title, and if you care you should be giving me your email address. I really can't think of a reason why Gaia would be nicer than neopets, myspace, or any other website, I'm starting to believe they all kind of stink and are turning to be all the same. My goodness, the only reason why I ever joined Gaia is because my best friend on neopets quit and joined Gaia and asked me to saying it was "cool" and "better"... Yeah, back then it was, now it's just about the same. What ever happened to her? We used to chat everyday, about everything, mostly anime though. I met her when I created a topic about FullMetal Alchemist titled "Who like Fullmetal Alchemist?" I remember inside I wrote "I was just wondering cause my sister likes it" on neopets, it got so many posts, it exploded, lol. I remember telling everyone that I like Alphonse and they would freak out because he was a "robot", but no, I liked his child form or whatever when they showed the flashbacks of their childhood. That was way before the movie, I think I was like the first person to like him. xD I got so many nice friends from that board! Except for the fact I slowly stopped talking to them all, except her. Hey, it doesn't really seem like neofriends last very long unless your in the same guild. Well, yeah I joined Gaia because of her, I was such an idiot when I was trying to find it, I asked her what was the url and she said "Gaia Online" so I typed in my browser "Gaia Online" without the ".com" cause I was thinkin that it had no com because of her... yeah we chatted online so much, my mom practicly had to pry me away from my old computer or beg me to go on neopets or another website, lol. But, then I decided I was gonna take a short Hiatus, so I wrote all my old friends with the "PM all friends" option they used to have telling them I was gonna leave for a little while. My friend replied and said ok. So I left for like a month or something then when I logged back in I remember like it was just yesterday, all my friends writing me saying "hey your back!" and stuff. While I searched through all my PMs (OMG Gaia is what made me hate chain mail, I know why they deleted the send to all friends option. Haha) I found the old one from her I never replied to, we went back chat crazy and chatted all days after that!! Heh. But, I think in September or something of 2006 I just got so angry, not at her, at Gaia or something, I think they changed the site late or something and it was hard to navagate, so without writing my friends or anything I just quit.. Then in like may 2007 I came back because my sister's friend Beyond_the_horizons on neopets quit too to join Gaia so I was logging into Gaia and it asked for my birthday and I thought for a second, but I didn't wanna lie so I just went ahead and put December 8th 1995 and then I got the huge message that I was banned on the screen and got really mad, I started crying and stuff because I logged into my sisters account and wrote my old friend and she just straight up wouldn't believe that I was magic_by_heart no matter what the freak I did or showed her. She had turned into a total... I don't even wanna say. But, after I created this account and spammed her for a while ( sweatdrop ) she finally accepted my friend request. But, she ran this huge thread and never replied to any of my messages and bearly ever replied to the posts I did on her thread, and when she did I would get in arguements with her other friends for stupid reasons. I just got so sick of her and what happened to her I just deleted her off my friends list and her thread out of my thread supscriptions overtime I guess. I don't even wanna try to remember her username. Anyways, if I'm gonna quit Gaia, I guess anyone who cares would figure out tommorrow.





 
 
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