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Dear Online Diary
Not New Years yet
You know life sucks when you play Wii Fit for 2 hours straight. I always refuse to play, but Sean made the Balance Games look so fun. s**t, I beat every record set!
Alyssa is an arrogant a** and the only way to keep her from going to her dad's house on New Year's eve was if she had some real friends show up. Wow Alyssa! My brother, yours, Sean, and I aren't 'real' friends? Nice to know. I'm glad that none of those friends showed up, so by punishment for being a whiny b***h, you were stuck with us.

And when I say us I am not including myself. Where was I the whole time? Drunk in the closet! Every time there is a party with family/family friends, I'm always the outcast. See, I am used to these situations and deal with dire consequences. Maybe I'm dramatizing this a bit? I use self-harm to get me by. Drinking, cutting, whatever it may be.

I texted John a list of complaints, also adding, "Why is it that the gay kid remains alone?"

Finally, I had enough from the adults' shunning and y peers' taunting. I entered my room, throwing open my closet door to retrieve my stash of beers. I had many hidden, and drank every bottle found. Thanks for the bottle opener! A' course I found it on the pocket knife a while back. I'm just glad to have it, 'cause without it, I'd have got caught snatching the singing bottle opener from my 'rents. Not so good.
When awoken, I immediately checked the texts and calls I had made. When I drink, I have a tendency to call others. Boy, did I make Samantha worried! I made calls to John, Dani, and, surprisingly, Caitlyn.

Never in my dreams would I have even tried to contact her while I'm drunk! I gave this long apology to Caitlyn on AIM.

I didn't even need to! She had no idea that I was drunk when I called her. I thought that since our conversation lasted a minute or so (according to my phone) I had gotten her angry somehow and caused her to hang up. Later on, over AIM, she explained she had to go because she was at a party. Not because I was drinking.

A very close friend called me on New Year's. I was out to dinner with my grandparents. I was hesitant to excuse myself from the table, but when I heard the words, "I'm gonna jump" I had to. I swiftly walked to the restroom, telling him to do the responsible thing, to go home and apologize to his father, even though my friend had not done any wrong-doing. While telling him to do the right thing, instead of killing himself and letting his dad win, an elderly lady walked out of a stall and began to scrub her hands under the running water in the sink. I wasn’t fully aware that she was listening to my conversation. She looked at me, straight in the eye, grinning, and said, “You are very wise.”

My friend said he'd be fine. I texted him later to be reassuring. He
seemed grateful for my help. Late evening, 2 1/2 hours after the
texting, I called him. He'd be awake. It was only 9:30pm. He's 1
a' those guys who picks up his phone no matter what. I'm worried sick
about him!

I love 'im like a fat kid loves cake.

Hopefully my bud's okay, and living.





 
 
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