Welcome to Gaia! :: View User's Journal | Gaia Journals

As you know, Samantha and I planned to go to the movies today.
I was relieved when I was told that 1 b***h wasn't showing up.

Samantha and I saw the Curious Case of Benjamin Button, Frost Nixon, and then Milk.

Milk had to be my favorite out of them all.

After all the movies, I decided to take Samantha out to dinner. I was gonna go all-out, I mean, hell, I had already paid for out tickets, but I offered to do that, thinking she only saw movies with me from sympathy, not because of any yearning.

But, no, all Samantha wanted was Burger King. Oh well, gotta give a Queen what she wants, not what you think she deserves. It's just a meal.

When done eating, we both sat cuddled next to eachother on a park bench in the cold. The only trace of heat was through both of our bodies and the warm indoors which we had escaped.

I shared many stories of drunken nights, and drunken partners.
Samantha and I had been out there in the cold for a good 45minutes when my dad had finally arrived.

He showed up at a bad time, too.
I had made myself look like a whore, but then again, I can do that without even trying, which I wasn't.

Samantha and I had gotten in this deep conversation. I touched her cheek and leaned in when she had pushed me back. No idea what I had done wrong, she tried to explain. I could not pick up what emotion she was feeling. Maybe anger, regret. I really have the slightest clue.

What I was told was that Samantha didn't want to do anything sexual, she just wanted some1 to be there.

"Kissing isn't sexual, to me anyway. And I am here for you Samantha."

The only thing I can do for a girl is ******** her. Samantha knows. I've told her many stories. I'm not a good girlfriend, nor will I ever be. I'm just gonna keep relying on parties held by my old friends. Where I can get drunk, and not worry about a thing. Where I can be any1 I want to be. Where I can have any girl I want. Where I don't have memory of all the pain I've caused, and the pain I'm receiving.

Where I can live.