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Ok so well things for me are getting a bit ugly, im sad because well my house is been upside down. Im starting to get depressed, well not real depresion as in i want to die or anything its just not nice, i feel like crying everynow and then and well its not cause my dad left its because of all the things that happened because of that.... He sucks you know ive really experimented that thing that says that you can destroy in 1 second what you have workd for in years.... it is so true... right now im starting to hate him because of how he made my sis and my mom feel and by consecuense how all this made me feel. He is probably happy goin around in the new car and with the new whore (yes he had others, i wonder why my mom put up to that) anyway well idk its just messed up. And now what he says doesnt matter to me none of the excuses or the memories of him matter cause he lost the trust and some of the love. Anyway well we have been staying over at my aunt's house everynow and then.... i like it... its different tho.

Anyway well college has been ok its a bit harder things are getting a bit stronger with every semester that goes by so this means i have to hold on... im spending my schoolarship this semester on buying that laptop i wanted... come on i need something good right?? between all the things that have happened this is the only good thing, ah besides that consert im gonna go to the 14th other than that i guess i have to come up with nice things for my self. anyway after all that has happened im having not second thoughts about religion but fourth thoughts come on what kind of god that is supposed to be nice, loving and fair is goin to let you suffer? i mean ive suffered more now that i go to church than when i was a not-churchich person, what the heck is up with that? I dont get it either, and screw the person that comes and says the devil is making you get away from god! screw that! anyway well im just gonnna keep up goin on with everything.

By the way valentines day is comming soon i like that day, its nice and fun specially when you have a boyfriend, a crush or a secret admiror XD im so curious about what mike is planning he said its a surprise but oh well XD Im just gonna send lots of candy and well i was thinking of sending him a pair of converse or what about some heart boxers?? that would b nice... anyway i can write this here cause i know he doesnt really read this not many ppl do so thats why i can just write how i feel and its nice.

I miss my friends... we made a new video a couple of weeks ago it was alot of fun XD and everyone thought it was nice so well thats cool right? oh well

ahh i think things r getting better with my mother in law XD yeah she wouldnt like to know that i call her like that anyway ive been trying to get on her good side im guessing that im making some progress but well i still have a long way to go

Anyway thats all im saying today so well ill post again later!!! take care XD