[I found this in my saved box in my email. I guess I though it was funny at the time. It's dated 11/12/08. I had just told Shadow I have a new boyfriend (obviously we weren't dating yet).]
really?...well that's a relief...one less woman i have to worry about
stalking me for my body...don't try to be koi...i know you've thought
about it...undressing me with your mind...removing my robe of flowing
darkness to find a gorilla like physique, rock hard abs, adonis like
charm, long flowing hair and a loin cloth...riding a liger bareback
through the deserted wastes of your fantasy...i would wrestle robot
alligators and mega raptors 20 at a time while you went slaying food
for the picnic which would be spread out across a blanket of freshly
skinned dragon hide.........*laughs*...i don't get to write that stuff
often...that was fun...though the after taste is kinda creepy (...note
to self...stop reading He-man fanfic H...)......but
seriously...congrats...we can only hope he doesn't get in the way too
much...i don't wanna have to end up executing him because he can't
except my rule in the new world order...i can't tell you how many
double agent girlfriend's i've had to dispose of for that...or am i
remembering james bond movies instead of reality again?...they're just
so similar...except i'm much more devilishly handsome...(i wonder how
much false grandeur i can fit into an e-mail?...but more importantly
how much am i going to use and how much of it will i actually admit is
false?...and how much of it do i actually believe...).....does he play
neopets too?...will he join the guild?...you know we need active
members...and if you can't trust your boyfriend to be a productive
member of the guild then who can you trust?......what's weird is that
this brings out my desperation for finding guild members instead of how
desperate i should be to find a mate...i guess i'm just an asexual
nerd...(oh crap that makes me sound pathetic QUICK WE NEED GRANDEUR
STAT! *finds large needle labeled ego*...) but i'm the BEST asexual
nerd...(good enough...we're gonna end the e-mail before we run out of
pride and we lose him to pity...)...but before i go i just want to ask
a favor of you....PLEASE! FOR THE LOVE OF BACON! DON'T TRY TO MULTITASK
CYBERING WITH HIM AND TALKING WITH ME!...that's a scenario we'd all
prefer go unexplored...(now i'm gonna find ways to inflate my ego...)
[LOL, he's so cute when he goes into nerd mode. ^^]
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