Sometimes, not even words can explain how someone feels or why, especially if that someone is a female. I have had one long hellish day, starting from the moment I woke up, and I've pretty much decided it can't get any worse unless the alcohol conflicts with the ibuprofen and knocks my a** flat out. I'll probably deserve it for drinking though, but really, sometimes life's much better when the alcohol is talking.
It's almost 6 in the morning, and I'm sitting here still wondering why the hell I'm awake. Part of me wants to sleep, the other part of me just wants to sit here and... Wait. For what, I don't know. Someone to message me and say rant? Someone who hasn't heard of all my problems lately, someone I didn't go to earlier for crap... So much s**t has been happening today and in the past week that I'm left pretty much stumped. I don't know what to think about certain people, I don't know what to do. Right now I pretty much don't even know what to think about myself, other than the fact that another bottle would be nice.
I don't even want to write down anything today to remember it. I already won't be able to forget, but at least I know those assholes got their just desserts. But it's so funny how one can go from not being able to breathe because of absolute laughter, and then going to being not being able to breathe because of absolute fury. It's so frustrating. I'm still so pissed at everything right now that it's unreal. I'm going to need a lot more tonight than my music to get to sleep.
I'm hearing that there's going to be a trip to the waterpark tomorrow and I'm thinking what the hell, NOOOOOOOOOO! But I don't really have a choice so I'm going to at least try to have a good time. But I highly doubt that I'll be all peachy keen in the morning when I wake up. I'm pissed. I know one reason why I'm pissed but that can't really be helped. I don't know, but I do care. GRAWR
I've never been this bad in my life. The last time I even came close to being like this, I went on a walk for three hours, but I can't do that here because I'm most likely gonna get dragged into an alley and raped. It's THAT dangerous here. I almost want to go home but then I wouldn't be able to have more late nights like this. Ridiculous, huh? How I sit here ranting about nothing when I COULD go to sleep.
What the hell amd I still doing awake? Really! What am I waiting for? I'm surrounded by friends who love me, people who'd do anything for me lately, even people that I swear are barely putting up with my a**, but I don't know what they think either. I'm at the point to where I just don't trust anyone. I'm surrounded by friends, but why do I feel so alone? I'm tired of feeling alone, okay? I'm just tired of it. I miss having a guy there. I miss having another part of me. I won't go as far as saying I miss my ex, but I miss having another part of me. I don't know. I'm so sick of being alone. I'm so upset.
Yeah, if you're wondering if I'm PMSing, that's allll thrown in here too. I've got way too much ******** estrogen in my body right now that it's not fair. It just needs to go away, because I can't handle this anymore. I'm so tired of it. I hope I feel even somewhat better in the morning. I'm already so snappy as it is, I don't know what to do.
Three minutes till six, and I almost think I'm running out of things to rant about for the night. I still don't know how I feel. All I know is that some things, I just have to accept, whether I like them or not. And it pisses me off. But I'll accept it. Because I have to. Someone needs to get this bottle of ibuprofen away from me before I take two more. Really, I'm just that over the edge right now. I've never, EVER gotten this bad before when it comes to fury and just general upsetness.
Remember how I said earlier, about everyone needing to find their light? Well it'd be nice if mine came around right now. Not even wishing on 11:11 is helping my situations today. I'm going to bed now. I hope. I'm just going to throw on my music and hope I wake up in the morning. Alcohol and painkillers really DON'T go well together. Don't try it, it's not good.
Whoever told me to stay away from alcohol today, sorry. It didn't quite work out.
I'm going to bed now.
It's almost 6 in the morning, and I'm sitting here still wondering why the hell I'm awake. Part of me wants to sleep, the other part of me just wants to sit here and... Wait. For what, I don't know. Someone to message me and say rant? Someone who hasn't heard of all my problems lately, someone I didn't go to earlier for crap... So much s**t has been happening today and in the past week that I'm left pretty much stumped. I don't know what to think about certain people, I don't know what to do. Right now I pretty much don't even know what to think about myself, other than the fact that another bottle would be nice.
I don't even want to write down anything today to remember it. I already won't be able to forget, but at least I know those assholes got their just desserts. But it's so funny how one can go from not being able to breathe because of absolute laughter, and then going to being not being able to breathe because of absolute fury. It's so frustrating. I'm still so pissed at everything right now that it's unreal. I'm going to need a lot more tonight than my music to get to sleep.
I'm hearing that there's going to be a trip to the waterpark tomorrow and I'm thinking what the hell, NOOOOOOOOOO! But I don't really have a choice so I'm going to at least try to have a good time. But I highly doubt that I'll be all peachy keen in the morning when I wake up. I'm pissed. I know one reason why I'm pissed but that can't really be helped. I don't know, but I do care. GRAWR
I've never been this bad in my life. The last time I even came close to being like this, I went on a walk for three hours, but I can't do that here because I'm most likely gonna get dragged into an alley and raped. It's THAT dangerous here. I almost want to go home but then I wouldn't be able to have more late nights like this. Ridiculous, huh? How I sit here ranting about nothing when I COULD go to sleep.
What the hell amd I still doing awake? Really! What am I waiting for? I'm surrounded by friends who love me, people who'd do anything for me lately, even people that I swear are barely putting up with my a**, but I don't know what they think either. I'm at the point to where I just don't trust anyone. I'm surrounded by friends, but why do I feel so alone? I'm tired of feeling alone, okay? I'm just tired of it. I miss having a guy there. I miss having another part of me. I won't go as far as saying I miss my ex, but I miss having another part of me. I don't know. I'm so sick of being alone. I'm so upset.
Yeah, if you're wondering if I'm PMSing, that's allll thrown in here too. I've got way too much ******** estrogen in my body right now that it's not fair. It just needs to go away, because I can't handle this anymore. I'm so tired of it. I hope I feel even somewhat better in the morning. I'm already so snappy as it is, I don't know what to do.
Three minutes till six, and I almost think I'm running out of things to rant about for the night. I still don't know how I feel. All I know is that some things, I just have to accept, whether I like them or not. And it pisses me off. But I'll accept it. Because I have to. Someone needs to get this bottle of ibuprofen away from me before I take two more. Really, I'm just that over the edge right now. I've never, EVER gotten this bad before when it comes to fury and just general upsetness.
Remember how I said earlier, about everyone needing to find their light? Well it'd be nice if mine came around right now. Not even wishing on 11:11 is helping my situations today. I'm going to bed now. I hope. I'm just going to throw on my music and hope I wake up in the morning. Alcohol and painkillers really DON'T go well together. Don't try it, it's not good.
Whoever told me to stay away from alcohol today, sorry. It didn't quite work out.
I'm going to bed now.
