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Today, sucked monkey balls x_x

and what better way to end off all the s**t today then to have my parents argue, AGAIN. Not even like they have the decency to leave the room next to mine so i had to drown it out with music. It's weird, music used to be the one way i could relax. But now, it just annoys me....not like the silence is any better. I officially have no way to vent or relax any more. All the ways that i used to do that, don't work any more. They all just annoy me instead. So now when i feel depressed or angry, I guess I just have to stay that way until it goes away. How fun. Talking to people makes it worse too.


I hate being ignored.
I hate being not included.
I hate being on the outside.
I hate faking it.
I hate that if i speak about it, they'll feel guilty.
I don't want that to happen.
I hate complaining about my life when I'm so well off.
I hate how I'm such a drama queen.
I hate how I'm so weak.
I honestly wish the end would come soon.
I'm too afraid to take matters into my own hands though.
Haha.
Wait till the day when I'm not afraid.
When I feel confident with my decision.
I wonder who will genuinely miss me?
Don't lie, I know you'll think you do for a few days.
You'll forget soon though.
And then?
I'll be gone.
The world won't bother me anymore.
I won't have anything to hate.
Including myself.
I can't wait.