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So my supposed to be best friend in real life is actually a question right now. When we first met, I was incredibly immature and she was so mature it wasn't funny. Like it seemed she was raised like that, but you know when we got to know each other better. It was more me being immmature and her she was but she knew enough not to be foolish. I was so immature she would tell me not to do things when she was with her mom. I wasn't aloud to wear my hello kitty hat, dress in super childish t-shirts and such. And now. I'm more mature than her. And I can easily tell you why. My dad lowered my selfesteem so much. I went from who cares what they think of me to. Holy crap don't judge me! And I get pushed on to be smarter than my sisters. And so I am the first, middle, and last child all in one. Plus, having this older mature brother doesn't help. >.>
So heres the thing that bothers me, I still act immature to a limit, and it seems like she has none. And I pointed this out to her. And she simply said because I stopped caring what people think of me. And I think bull s**t. But whatever. and whenever I tell her to stop something she tells me I'm mean to her. and I'm not mean to her, if I were mean to her. She'd know. So that's peeving me off alot because, I want to do this nice thing for her in the morning, but now I'm thinking, should I really? Its just frustrating. I have a hard life, and no one truely understand what its about. I can't even describe it to people. This is what I want to do. I need to figure outmy emotions, and fast. I have a million personalities and frankly, I can't keep up with all of them. I'm going to bed now night night :3