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... is motivation. The gift is motivation. That's what I'd been hoping for this year. And I have none. I'm still as lame and uncreative as ever. So, I've written some instrumental rock tunes. They sound like s**t. And I'm never gonna get anywhere with music. And I wish I had people that I could write music with. Nobody ever comes through...

And, I need to get a job. Being 18, my grandparents can't shut the ******** up about the choices I make for a day. They want me to do what they want. And that tends to make me want to have less to do with the world. I hate most of this world and most everyone in it. I ******** hate people. Even myself at times...

I couldn't land a job. Not with hair like mine... And I'll never get through college and make way with a career. The way I am now will probably be the way I am in the future... No car, no job, no talent, and no life... Not to mention no girl and still a virgin

Look at my dad. He left this world the way I envision myself. A good musician with a shitty life and no recognition. ********, at least he could drive and had a few jobs. Maybe that'll be me soon too if I'm lucky

And look at my mom. Drugged out and a pretty crappy parent. Never trying to keep our family together, isolating herself from her siblings and family, no car, and no job... Sound familiar to anyone?

I'm not motivated, I'm even more hopeless and useless now. That's what I got for Christmas this year. And, I know what you're probably thinking: "Welcome to the future; welcome to the war." This is life? Life sucks. People suck. Society sucks

And it's times like now I don't think I'll make it.....



Neither of my parents did......

Neither will I