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My thoughts and experiences
I really AM a little south of sanity...
Bad Changes
I hate it when things change. Especially prominent things. I've had this "friend" for a while. We've been friends for a long time. Since sophomore year. (Back when friends meant something.) Now, it's college, and I feel abandoned by someone who used to be really cool. Ever gotten that?

She used to be fun to hang out with and I actually used to like her at one point, if only for a few hours. When I had nobody else to go to, I'd go talk to her and we'd be able to prepare me for my own mental problems one challenge at a time. She could even be friends with me when her best friend hated me. Back in High School, that was a pretty big thing. Did I suddenly become a douche?

Things change. Now, here I am, faithless in her. I feel like she's not even the same person. She's progressively gotten worse and, regardless of how bad her situation in life is, shouldn't treat others like crap. Her attitude has just intensified over the last year, and I've been putting up with it because I still think she's worth my time. Not very directly, but, here's my story on it

I asked her to take choir with me. Yes, we're not very good singers, but I wanted to hang out with her. And I would've felt bad if I left after making her join the stupid class. And, turns out, she dropped it. She never told me why. Had it been Sophomore year and I knew her well enough to tell it was something life-threatening , I wouldn't be so miffed as I am now. She just left without an explanation.

My point here is that I tried to keep my faith in my friend even though she'd changed for the worse. And, I get the feeling she doesn't really care about me. Maybe she only cared back then. Maybe I've changed. Although, a friend wouldn't just abandon another friend. If she's reading this...

Remember when being friends meant something?
Me neither






User Comments: [2] [add]
Commander Claire
Community Member
avatar
commentCommented on: Wed Apr 18, 2012 @ 10:27am
But what about all of your other friends? Do they mean nothing to you as well? That's what you make it sound like here - Like you don't value anyone who hangs out with you.
Friends are a wonderful thing. Perhaps you might try talking to this mysterious girl I don't know. See if you can get the "old her" back. Who knows? You might even grow to like the "new her."

Cheers.


commentCommented on: Wed Apr 18, 2012 @ 12:05pm
I hate change too. I always have. But it still happens. Everything changes. Everyone changes. But that doesn't mean things don't have meaning anymore. I'd never abandon you, Zach. I don't abandon my friends. Never have, never will. You can still go to me when you have no one else to go to. I'm still willing to help you one challenge at a time. I'll still be your friend even though my best friend hates you.

I never knew you took choir just to hang out with me. I swear. I thought you were taking it because you wanted to. I haven't dropped it yet. But I was going to. I did give you an explanation. But maybe it wasn't detailed enough. It was life-threatening. When I said I couldn't handle it, I meant it. I'm not handling things well right now and I'm overwhelmed. I just can't do it. And I don't know what else to say to make you understand. But I did want to tell you why.

I do care about you, Zach. I always have. Even if you don't believe me. I cried when I found out your dad died, even though we were fighting at the time. I showed up at the wake after his funeral. I supported you when Brittany was being a total b***h to you. I tried to get Mae to forgive you and give you another chance. I listened to you play guitar and thought you were amazing every time. I goofed around with you at lunch in school. I slept with you on a mattress on the floor at your mom's house. I danced with you at Junior Ball. I think about you when I hear Aerosmith or Satch. Or when I play Yu-Gi-Oh. I'm always here for you to talk to, even if you don't think I am or that you can't talk to me. I care about you, Zach. You're my friend and I love my friends like family. You do too. You're my bro. Have you ever heard me tell people "Zach's my bro?"

I'm sorry I changed. I really am. I wish I knew how to change back. I wish I knew how to fix things. Maybe you'll tell me someday. Please? Because I honestly don't know. I remember when being friends meant something. Because it still does.

Love you, Z.



x-Dancing_Water-x
Community Member
User Comments: [2] [add]
 
 
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