This is my first time writing a blog. Well not really if you include the failed attempts at Tumblr, but that's not important. What is important is that this shall represent a fresh start at something…though what that is I'm not quite sure of.
This is not a blog where I bore you with my life story, or try to be the "mentor" in any aspect of life. This is just about me and my views of the world I find important enough to write about. I'm not asking you to agree with, follow, or even listen to me. Hell, I don't know if anyone would ever be willing to read this, but if you are…you must be pretty bored on the internet. Or maybe you will find this helpful in some way. I don't know.
Anyhow, I find it rather difficult to speak or write about how I feel, because I feel like I don't feel anything (except for the occasional angry outbursts). I know I have feelings, and I know I'm feeling something, but I can never identify them, and when I do identify and express them, they somehow don't seem real anymore. Its as if everything I think about myself is and feels real until I say it, then it becomes distant and foreign to me, like its some other person or entity creating those emotions. When I look at myself and evaluate my state of mind, its like there is something missing. A void that never goes away, never changes, and only grows in strength. I'm trapped in my own mind, constantly having to tell myself that what I think and feel isn't the REAL me. It can't be, because if it were, it would mean that I am empty. I feel nothing. I'm a nobody. Its like I don't even know who, or what, I am. I don't think I ever have.
 Ech0 B0t · Mon Jan 13, 2014 @ 10:38pm · 1 Comments |
