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I wrote this long time ago, like one or two years ago. I had written this in the MMROSPG game call Nexus. That was the time when I met my best deaf friend and I started playing with her. I felt happier and I focus other things than nexus. I remembered that all of my friends and my family was there so I had to return.
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~Sitting on the cliff staring up at the skies with tears in eyes~

Some say that I roleplay.
Some say that I changed.
Some say that I would easily fall for anything...
And those someone saying such, is my friends.

I do not know who to run to. I do not know where to run to.
I do not know who to trust now. I do not know who turned agaisnt me.
I don't understand. I was gone for one minute and my lovin friends and families were now a simiply red beasts. I walk down the path alone now. And when I walked the path. Id pass the people I known, Id pass the people I don't know. They'll smile and waved saying hello. But you know that when you turn your back on them, they might snickered and laugh evily, planning plot to get back to you.

I don't know... Im just lost. My pride is finally hurted. I don't understand. How did I lose them? Iv been there for them. Iv hold them. And now I finally want someone to hold me and that someone who discovered me four years ago. Iv been in pain and hed just hold me telling me to fight. Just fight them back. I don't know how to fight. I only know how to love and care. Ill keep on doing that. Even those my pride is hurt. Even those my feeling is hurt. I had change yes. But Im always Reani who cared and loved. I don't roleplay. I play by and from my heart. I wont let them win but I wont let them lose either. This isn't game. Feeling and pride is invole....

Will I ever be free? Nay... Battle will goes on and on. And some day Ill lose. And I wonder if Ill lose today... dueled by my friends and had finally defented by them... is this the war? Or is this the battle? Or is this the confusion? I wont fight. My pridev return...

I guard because I love...
I guard because I care...
I guard because I know pain and I feel pain... but Iv fight it but I wont heal... Nay. I wont. But I will help because I guard. Because Im their guardian rather they betray me or nor...