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Right now, I feel as though I could kill. Right now I hate the world.

Firstly.
No matter how many times I tell you, why don't you take the ******** hint. do NOT make any more jokes about that sort of thing. Can't you ******** understand? Its a terribly fragile subject, and it hurts me terribly to know that you don't support me at all in it. Can I throw you out a window or something? Because I'm sick and tired of the jokes you make whilst I'm in this crisis.

Secondly.
Stop ******** asking me where he is/how he is doing. How do you expect me to know? I haven't talked to the god damn jackass for how long now and he isn't making any effort whatsoever to contact me. Don't ask me if I'm doing something with him. Chances are that I'm NOT

Thirdly.
Right now I want nothing more than to just scream at you until I can't scream anymore. I want you to see how much you've hurt me by not being there. I want you to realize that I need you, and that when you're not around, I just don't feel like myself. I want you to see what you've done. I wish you could be the way you used to be. When I first met you. Now you always make me feel like you don't give a ******** at all. I want to know you better, but all you do is turn away. I feel like you don't want me. Like I've done something wrong. I wish I was important to you. I wish that I mattered. Why did you ever come back to me if you are now just going to leave me all alone in the dark again. You make me feel as though you don't want me. That you have no time for me. That you just put up with me because you have to. I haven't spoken to you in so long, and now it looks as though you're no longer there. I can never make you smile, make you laugh or make you happy. You're too tired to care about me. That's what it feels like. I just want to shake you and scream. Why don't you want me? Why don't you care? Why do I get the feeling that you're not going to know where you've been when I ask? You're making me feel as I feared would happen again. Maybe its got something to do with you being so far away. It's so easy to avoid my feelings if I can't IM you, and its so easy to ignore the emails I send. You give me the impression that my feelings are unimportant. Or have you forgotten that I'm fragile and that it's so easy to hurt me. I wonder if you care anymore. I wonder if you still remember who I am. I wonder if you can keep that promise you made to me so long ago. I wonder if you still love me.

There. Rant over. Go find someone else's miserable life to nose through now.