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The Ranting of A Deranged House Wife

Honey, it’s been ten years now since we got married.
Ten long years since we said our vows,
Death do we part and all of that junk.
I know I said I would serve and obey, but this has gone to far!
If I went back to my wedding day and saw myself then,
I would tell me not to marry a cheatin’, no good, little man that smells of whisky and cheap perfume!
Oh, you though I didn’t know about that, did you?
Did you think your sweet, naive house wife wouldn’t know about such things?
Hey, I read Vogue and watch Opra, I know about these things.
At first I thought the lipstick on the collar was mine, but I don’t wear lipstick!
You always said that it made me look cheap and wrong.
Well suga’, I have a few things to say to you about being cheap and wrong!
First off, how much are you paying those girls?
It must be a lot because you smell like a carton of expired eggs got shoved up your butt!
Also, comb over’s only work if you have hair to comb over!
So here’s the synch lova’ boy, a quick little hint of what’s to come.
Two can play at this game, and I don’t play fair.
You stop that cheatin’, or you’ll be eatin’ something very important to you for dinner!
And I do mean very important to you, if you know what I mean!
Also, if you refuse to give up your nasty, filthy ways, you’ll be straight out the door!
Because I am woman, and hear me roar!