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I guess most people find my ways weird or unusual because of the way that I am. A conversation came up about how it was weird I never fought with the person I was in a relationship with. I told him it was cuz I never wanted to purposely hurt him. I also said it would feel wrong to do so. He said that was mature of me to say and do. In all the things I have experienced I see true love as something great. There are feelings that cannot be explained. There are people who want to be with other people but those others do not wish to be with them even though they care about the person. People say its cuz they care more yet...when it comes down to purposely hurting another person in a relationship I find it completly outragous that it be commited. As I believe hurting someone on purpose violates the terms of trust. If someone does it on accident then its all forgiven in my point of view as they did not mean to do it.

I guess in my situation I do want to be with a certain person and I will admit that I do wish he was not with the person he is with now. I see it this way because I know that the person has done him wrong in the past on purpose where even though he has done her wrong also it was not intentional yet she continued to get him back because he did it. In this situation I find it immature to do such a thing because it simply violates the terms of trust. When I love somebody I hope for them to love me just as I love them. If they hurt me on purpose that means they are not truly being faithful to the cause they so agreed to be apart of.

The choice of one choosing between two people in a relationship can be difficult but I don't see a purpose in choosing one that has been there the longest because that isn't always the right choice. If it were me I would choose the most trustworthy and faithful person, not a person who would act immature and begin to hurt me purposely just to get back at me for something I did on accident.

In my experience trust does not come easy and if it does there is a very good reason why. People view me as a bad person probley because I tell my own opinion on things or perhaps because I care "to much." I don't think you can care about someone to much I think it has to do with sufficating a person, but then again if that person truly loves you then you wouldn't care if they are being so close like that. In my personal opinion love is also about accepting people for who they are and not judging on how they love, the two or more should love each other no matter what. If people cannot accept most everything about a person then it is neither a friendship or true love. Just as well it is not true love is someone does something purposely to another just because they did something on accident.

I also believe that trust is a big issue in a relationship. I believe if a person has a problem with a person that their lover is communicating with then they should speak that opinion but however they cannot tell their lover who they can and cannot talk to. I feel that this situation has happened to me and screwed up my relationship because someone lied about how they felt and yet the love continued to grow and that person grew jealous of my love because it isn't how they see love and probley finds it freaky or even creepy. This person complains about how the other is being in an emotional way. Saying that one is whining about a situation, I think if people have something on their mind and wish to talk about it with who they believe is a close friend then its okay cuz they may be scared to talk about it with the person they are currently with.


I love alot of people, I like in different ways. People limit me on how I can like them by putting up boundries. When this happens I begin to grow distant with them. Of course it all depends on how I feel about the person if I truly trust them or not. Then and only then will they recieve my true love in return. When I give such love I am giving part of my soul for them to keep, if they just ignore that and do not tell me then later I find out it ends up pretty terrible. I have also told people never lie to me because I will always find out the truth no matter what that maybe. It happens all the time. People lie because they are afraid to admit to a person of their true feelings and they may not want to upset them or they are afraid of their reaction. In my personal experience, I found that lying only leads to more problems and more difficulties. People who lie because they are afraid or perhaps because they are so closed off they don't want to share their feelings, in the end they will experience something that teaches them not to do this. In the past I have lied, I stopped because it hurt people that I loved. I lied because I knew what I was doing was wrong and was against the things I stood for. People that do lie will end up in certain situations where they are forced to tell the truth reguardless if they are ready to tell or not. It is always good to tell the truth because that builds trust in people and even if it is harsh there is a way to put it where it is not entirly offencive. Somethings may not be but even so, you can put it respectfully instead of saying it like some immature child.

People think that I am possessive because sometimes I can be extreamly protective. I am only protective because I love what I have with the friends I do got and I don't want them to be hurt just as they don't want me to be hurt. In a way I can resemble an over reactive mother because I always seem to watch out for people just as a mother does for a child. Its the way I have been and always will be and most people find that so wonderful because I care like that. But then I guess it all depends on your opinion of how a person should protect. I cannot protect against everything, nor do I want to. I just care about the people that I am around very deeply cuz their all I got and I want to cherish our moments for the rest of my life. I want them to live on with me as I do with them so that the love will carry on even in death. So, it is not that I am possessive, I just enjoy the people I am around so much that its hard not to protect them.


I still wonder about my relationship even now...of what will happen to it. I really want to be with the person I care about most and I really wish I could but so long as he is with her I cannot. I suppose it is my duty not only as a former lover but as a friend to respect that choice, even if I dislike that choice. All I know is that I love him and I know he loves me he just chooses to be with her. Although...I did ask a question on a relationship based thing.

I asked what if he had to choose not of how long he has been with a person but rather the things the two people did. Like a was always truthful and never really fought with him and respected most of his thoughts and loved him to much to ever do anything harmful to him. While the other does harmful things to get back at him. In all that he said if it came down to it he would choose the person that never hurt him at all instead of the one that hurt him purposely because of something he accidently did. In my opinion it is not of who is there the longest, its how you are treated in the relationship that should matter. I believe when two people are truly in love they probley hardly if ever fight at all and respect each others choices. They always are good to each other because they believe harming one another on purpose would be wrong. I believe this to be an example of true love, there are many others but this is just my own thoughts on how it really is. People can love or hate me for that.

For those who hate me, I let them hate as there is nothing I can do to change their minds about me. But to those whom give me love and support get the best out of me and most certainly never get harmed. I believe friendship is also the same as what I have discribed about love. A friend isn't really a friend if they hurt you all the time nor have done so on purpose. Just as so for a lover. In my opinion, a lover and a friend are nearly exactly the same thing, its just that there may or may not be physical involved, it could be mental or even both.


But In all my years I guess my friend was right, girls do fight over boys more then boys fight over girls. rofl I suppose in a way I am like a female, but in other ways I am a male. I have both traits. It is the way I have been and always will be and there is nothing anyone can do to change that. I just wish some people would understand it. Well, If you read this far you must really be interested in what I have to say...and some maybe even shocked at some point, I don't know. Thanks for reading and leave comments I love those. 4laugh