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Beautiful Day!
i dont know why, but today was an unbelievably good day. nothing special happened but it was such a nice day. nice inside and outside. anyway...it wasnt really such a nice day, but for the most part it was. the only thing wrong with it is me and my "best good friend"(forest gump, in case you didnt know) are not really talking, but the thing is, we aren't really mad at each other, we just stopped talking. i dont know why, but i wish i did cuz i really miss her. she was all i had left and now i feel like its gone... im not suicidal though, just letting that out there, but i feel...empty. "a hollow shell incapable of feeling" to quote my mother's view of me. alittle of what made me so happy today though is that she came out of nowhere and gave me a hug. i feel... i dont know how to explain it... i feel like she is there still but not like it used to be, we told each other almost everything and now... its like, "hi, bye" not even at lunch (the time i mostly see her and looked foward to cuz, i mean she was everything i had) do we talk. and my STUPID "friend" andy...grrr... starting crap... i think she is mad at me, but i dont know what i did wrong. but today at lunch, she and our other friend, just got up and left...and i thought she was mad at me for something...maybe it was about what andy said... STUPID ANDY!!!!!! but anyway... i dont know... I JUST DONT KNOW ANYMORE!!! sorry bout that, i just suddenly got really down thinking about all this... at least im letting my anger out right? sweatdrop i dont have anyone to fall on anymore... and that... ive never felt like that before, ive ALWAYS had someone there, someone holding me up... someone to be happy for... and now, its just...gone... i sound stupid, like i complain too much, i should just stop with that. getting back to what i was saying before, to day was such a good day... i finished most of my makeup work, i just need one more class and then i finish and i can graduate whee im so happy! no...i cant do this anymore. i dont have anymore... thats the bottom line. its...over...
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