Welcome to Gaia! :: View User's Journal | Gaia Journals

Broken Stitches- The Death Of Aruna Rea And Harken Layon.

“I Don’t Think Anything Is Worth Living For Anymore, My Heart Hurts And My Mind Wanders And Dances Through The Night As I Smoke My Life Away, I Watch Myself Rot, I’m Watching Myself Decay Away From The World I Walk Amongst. I Don’t Want To Walk On This Trail Anymore, I Want To Get Off This Road. Walk Off The Edge Of The Earth If I Have To, Anything To Get Me Out Of Here. Nothing Mattered To Me After He Died, Nothing. I Would Never Be The Same, Not After Loving Him. He Lead Me Here Along This Path And Then I Watched Him Disappear, He Left This Emptiness Inside Me And I Cant Turn Back Time. Nothing Compares To You, I Just Cant Bring Myself To Let Go Of You.” She Fell Into Her Own River Of Thoughts And Empty Dreams. She Weeps Each Night Trying To Remember His Face, Trying To Remember His Voice Echoing Through Her Ears And His Words Breaking Her Heart Because She Knows She Wont Ever See His Smiling Face Again. She Felt The Pain As She Pierced The Skin Of Her Arm With The Needle That Injected The Highest Quality Of Heroin She Could Afford. The Rush, The Thrill, The Pain And The Craving It Occurred To Me That This Feeling Was The Only One I Knew Better Than Any Other Feeling That I Had Ever Experienced. As If I Didn’t Know Anything Else, Maybe I Didn’t. My Life Had Seemed To Have Flashed Before My Eyes As The Chemical Flowed Through My Veins. Is This Really What Death Feels Like Or Am I Truly Having A Nightmare? A Bad Trip…

“It Was As If I Had Set The Moon On Fire The Night I Lit Up The Container That Held My Desires Located So Close To My Lips. It Seemed The Moon Had Began To Decay As The Smoke I Had Taken In Hit My Lungs And Filled The Thick Air Around Me, Seeping Through The Darkness Of My Life And Fading Away Into The Shadows Of What I Had Hoped To Be My Tomorrow. If Tomorrow Would Ever Come Or Would The Devil Take Me First? Will He Send The Reaper For Me? I Looked Up Into The Stars Of That Cold Winter Night As I Stand Alone Outside My Apartment While The Snow Of The Heavens Rained Down On Me, Surrounding Me In Bliss. Like The Pure White Petals Of Carnations Falling To My Toes. The Smoke Filled Air And I Felt As If I Was Invincible. Crystal Meth Was What Its Called. The Drug Made Life Seem Like A Never Ending Fantasy That Was Inescapable, Incomprehensible. Non Negotiable. Most Of All Though, No Matter How It Is To Admit, Non Profitable”

The Thoughts And Feeling Of Having No One, Of Knowing No One Is Around You But The Very Walls Of The Room You Sit In So Confined In And If Not The Walls Of Your Room The Night Of The Day Fading Away Is What You Have Left. More Than That Though You Have Your Escape, The Thing Keeping You Here Because You Feel Nothing Else Is Left In Your Soul, In Your Heart, Nothing Else To Live For. You Feel Nothing For Anyone. You Have No Shame For The Things You Do, If That Shame, That Guilt Does Find You And Does Kill You, Why Don’t You Have The Mind To Stop It First? Why Don’t You Realize The Things Your Doing Just Isn’t Funny Anymore. In The Beginning We Knew, We All Knew It Was Just A Joke, Something You Do Once Just To Understand The Feeling And Then Drop It Like Its Nothing. You Wish You Were Able To Drop it Like It Was Nothing, Don’t You Aruna?

Are You Trying To Find More Of Your Kind To Run Away With Into That Fantasy Land? Selling Your Soul To Men Which You Believe Are The Demons From Hell Sent To Earth To Torture You. Does Your Name Bother You Aruna? For It’s Meaning Is The Time Of Day You Despise. Dawn. When The Sun Goes Down And The Light Of Day You Had Just Lived Turns To The Night You Might Die In, Do You Get Scared? Does Any Rational Thought Come To Mind? Do You Want To Escape? Do You Want To Let It All Slip Away? Like You Have For All These Years. Getting Older Aruna. What Age Are You Now? How Long Has It Been Since The First Day You Started Engaging In This Madness? How Long? Your 22 Now And Been Doing This Since You Were 13. 10 Years Of Life Wasted Aruna. 10 Years Of Life You Will Never Get Back. Years Of Your Life Where You Could Have Done Something With Yourself. You Could Have Passed High School Instead Of Dropping Out. You Could Have Found A Nice Boy Someone Who You Could Rely On In Life And Be Happy With. Oh How Could I Forget You Did Find A “Nice Boy” Found That Idiot Of A Man. You Found Harken, Harken Layon. Isn’t He The One Who Gave You Your Escape? Is He Still Around? Do You Know Where He Is? I Think You More Than Anyone Knows Where He Is Now. He’s In Hell Due To His Own Stupid Mistakes. Do You Still Remember The Way He Made You Feel And The Love He Gave You? Do You Remember When He Stole Your Heart And The Ripped It Out Of Your Chest? He Hurt You And Destroyed You. Haven’t Forgave Yourself Yet, When Will You Be Able To Finally See The Truth In Life? Aruna… When Will You Learn?

“You’re A Fool, Your Stupid, Don’t You Know Anything? Why Are You So Damn Worthless? you’re a Mistake, We Never Wanted You, We Should Have Just Put In An Orphanage. Your So Messed Up, Why Wont You Die?” These Words Echoed Through Aruna’s Head While She Cries In Her Room, Sitting In The Corner Of The Darkened Room, Her World. The Only Light That Glimmers In Her Room Is The Cigarette In Which Was Lit And Placed In Her Mouth. She Gets Up From Where She Sat And Walks Over To Her Window, Opening The Blinds Slightly. The Shadow Flow Over Her, Stripes On Her Face From The Light. She Looks Out Into The World That She’s Not Apart Of. “Why Do You Even Exist?” Her Parents Hurtful Words Echo Through Her Mind Again. Her Parents Faces Flash Through Her Mind As She Closes Her Eyes But Shooting Them Open When The Faces Became Clear. Her Eyes Begin To Tear And She Begins To Cry Again After She Had Just Wiped The Tears She Had Wept From Her Face Just A Minute Or So Before. Aruna Cant You See? Realize What This Addiction Had Done To You? What’s On Your Mind? What’s Running Through Your Head? What Are You Thinking Aruna?

Her Thoughts Wandered To The Face And Voice Which Matched The Words She Remembered Being Spoken By Her Boyfriend Harken Layon. “Take A Hit Of This, The Pain Will Fade, Solve Your Problems Through Pleasure, C’mon Lets Take A Nice Trip, When The World Is All Screwed Up And You Got No Where To Go And Everything Around You Is Going Mad Just Take A Hit Of This… And Its Like Nothing Ever Happened. Aint That Right Mr. Bones?” She Had Remembered Him Talking To Her As They Stood Before A Lifeless Carcass. Aruna Fell In Love With Harken And The Drugs He Fed Her. She Fell In Love With The Pleasures Of Drugs But Despised The After Math That Came With Them. She Loved The Craving, The Temptation Pulling At Her Soul, Her Heartstrings. She Fell In Love With The High Feeling She Got From The Drugs That Had Stimulated Her Body And Made Her Feel Invincible. Harken Took Control Of Aruna Just Like The Drugs Had Controlled The Both Of Them. He Made Her Want To Do Anything For Him And She Did. Aruna Dropped Out Of High School, She Started Fights, She Got Arrested, Over Dosed At Least 20+ Times Throughout Her Addiction And For What? She Hated Herself For It All But Continued To Do So. She Wanted The Pain To End But She Couldn’t Stop Causing It. The Addiction Ate Away At Her Like It Would Anyone Else. Her Eyes Glazed Over Most Of The Time, You Could Tell When She Smiled She Was Coming Undone. Her Skin Color So Pale It Looked Like It Was Just Bone, Sadly Her Bones Were Decaying Within Her. She Couldn’t Stand The Nightmares She Endured Each Helpless Night They Tore Her Apart More And More For The Images Played Clear In Her Head. Seeing Harken’s Face, His Kind Yet Devilish Eyes, His Wickedly Sickening Smile, And Then His Cold Lifeless Body Lay Within The Casket. She Closes Her Eyes To See Herself Standing Before His Coffin Wanting To Hold Him In Her Arms, Wanting Her Touch To Bring Him Back, She Wondered If His Death Would Have Happened Differently, Would She Still Had So Strongly Thought This Was Her Fault. She Knew It Was Her Fault, Pushing Him To Take Another Hit, Wanting Him To Feel The Way She Had That Night. He Was A Fighter, A Challenge Was Made And He Would Meet It. He Took Aruna’s Challenge And Took One Too Many Shots Of Heroin And Unfortunately Didn’t Wake Up The Next Morning. How Tragic.

Aruna Watched As The Mid Evening Sun Turned To Night And The Only Light She Had Was From The Moon And Brightly Lit Stars. She Couldn’t Stand To Look At It Any Longer, The Pain Was Piercing Her Heart, Everything Hurt. Everything. She Retreated Away From The Window Back To The Lonely Corner Of Her Room. She Whispered To Herself “When Will This End? This Nightmare? Will I Ever Get Out? Will I Ever See Harken Again?” That Last Line Echoed Through Her Mind And She Snapped. Something Inside Her Mind Made Her Think That This Pain And Suffering Would All End If She Saw Harken’s Face. She Couldn’t Take Not Seeing Him Anymore, It Had Been A Year Since His Death And She Had Been Sitting In Silence For The Years He’s Been Gone. The Silence… Had Been Killing Her. She Got Up From Her Corner And Walked Out The Door Of Her Apartment Slamming It Behind Her. She Stole A Shovel And Crowbar From Her Neighbors Open Garage Doors. She Packed It In Her Car, Sat In The Drivers Seat, Shoved The Key In The Ignition, Slammed The Door And Drove Off Into The Night, The Roads Only To Be Lit By Street Lights And Power Lines. A Cigarette In Her Mouth While She Drives, Trying To Get Her Mind Off Of The Grey Clouds That Begin To Surround The Sky Around Her. “A Storm Is Moving In…” She Mutters To Herself. She Drove For Hours From New York City Through Traffic To Finally Reach Roosevelt Millstone New Jersey Where She Drove Searching For “Witches Hollow Road”. Once She Found This Abandoned Property That Judging From The Amount Of Over Grown Grass, Broken Tree Branches, And Piled Up Stone, Aruna Knew This Place Hadn’t Been Walked Amongst In At Least A Decade. She Got Out Of Her Car For The Road She Wanted To Drive Down Was Being Blocked. She Pushed Her Way Through The Rubble That Blocked Her And Walked Along The Road That Now Was Nothing But Dirt And Broken Up Pavement. She Dropped Her Cig When She Finally Approached The Unnamed Cemetery That Had Been Abandoned For Years, Even Though She Had Been Here Only A Year Ago To Say Goodbye To Harken Forever. It Lay Hidden Behind The Forest That Was Behind “Witches Hollow Road”. She Walked Up To The Gate That Held The Lock That Led Into The Cemetery, She Pried Off The Lock With The Crow Bar And Opened The Gate, Walking In Slowly, Looking Around Frantically To See If Anyone Had Been Around. The Energy That Flowed Throughout The Cemetery Was Dark, Negative, Almost Evil, Aruna Felt This And Became Cautious. Aruna Examined The Dull Gleam Of The Grey Tomb Stones That Were Lined Up In Rows But Seemed Scattered Across A Grassy Knoll Surrounded On All Sides By A Dark Broken Forest. Such An Eerie Yet Beautiful Cemetery During The Day But At Night The Place Was So Dark And The Vibes And Sensations You Would Feel As The Leaves Around You Blew Past Your Feet Would Send The Most Sickening Of Chills Down Your Spine, The Energy Taking Over You, The Sensations Left Scars On Your Aura For It Felt As If Someone Had Been Tearing You Apart With Each Step You Took That Led You Deeper Within The Abandoned Cemetery.

After Feeling These Vibes Aruna Frantically Started Looked Through The Names On The Tomb Stones Desperately Looking For Harkens. She Must Have Searched Through Over Three Dozen Stones Before She Finally Found His. She Came To A Stop, Eyes Shut As She Took A Deep Breath, She Went To Open Them And She Did And She Began To Read The Tomb Stone To Herself In A Low Whisper. “Harken Layon” She Held In The Tears She Wanted To Weep. “August 28th, 1985- October 6th, 2009” She Paused Before She Read Aloud The Next Part That Had Been So Beautifully Engraved On His Tomb Stone. These Are The Words That He Requested In His Will To Be Written On His Grave And They Were… “My Eyes Blind For I Have None, My Voice Gone For My Lungs Have Busted Into Ash, My Days Here Were Always Numbered, I Knew That. I’m Just Happy I Decided When I Would Stop Counting Each Dreadful Day” Aruna Began To Cry, She Couldn’t Hold Back The Tears. The Tears Dripping Down The Sides Of Her Face, Staining Her Jacket, She Wept More And More. It Began To Rain, Almost As If The Gods Knew What She Had Been Thinking, Feeling.

She Still Wasn’t Satisfied, She Started Going Mad, Her Emotions Driving Her Insane. She Knew Her Intentions When She Came Here But She Would Never Admit To Herself That She Was Ever Truly Serious About Doing What She Had Been Planning This Whole Time. She Knew It Was Time, Time To Do What She Came Here For. She Began To Dig, Dig The Hole That Would Lead Her Six Feet Under To Reveal Deep Under The Dirt And Rocks A Coffin In Which Her Lover Laid. She Used To Call Him The Prince Of Addiction But Now She Had Taken His Place As The Princess And Queen To The Throne Of Addicts, The Insane, And The Sickly. She Dug As Deep As The Rain Poured Down Over Her World. The Cold Water Drip Along Her Skin As The Dirt She Had Been Digging Turned To Mud, She Didn’t Care, The Goal She Had Been Thriving For, The Determination Of Seeing Harken’s Face Drove Her On Until Her Shovel Smacked The Top Of The Coffin. Still Weeping She Took Her Crow Bar And Tore Of The Top, The Door That Led You Inside Harkens Chambers. She Removed The Thin White Sheet That Laid Over Him To Reveal His Face, No His Decayed Skull. It May Have Only Been A Year But… His Decayed Fast. She Cried Seeing His Empty Eye Sockets. She Cried Until Her Eyes Were Red. Departed By The One She Loved Through The Drugs That Had Controlled Her Life, And Now Her Fate. She Lost Him To Drugs, Lost Herself To Drugs And She Knew She Would Never Get Back The Life She Had Before These Drugs Took Over Her Like A Never Ending Plague. She Had Accepted That She Had Been Letting Herself Rot For Too Long, She Wanted It All To End, She Wanted Harken Back. She Wanted This Living Hell To End, She Wanted To Be Rejoined With Her Partner In Love And Crime, Harken Layon.

The Time We Call Dawn Approached When Aruna Had Made Her Final Decision. She Had Sat Six Feet Under For All Too Long Thinking About Her Next Move, And She Finally Decided. She Threw The Crow Bar And Shovel Out Of The Hole, She Pulled Out A Sewing Needle And Thick Black Thread That She Had Been Caring With Her, Like She Always Had. She Laced The Thread Through The Hole Of The Needle. She Shook While She Held The Needle Close To Her Face. She Began Piercing The Skin Of Her Upper Lip And Then Down To The Bottom Lip, And Back Up To The Top And On Going Until Her Whole Mouth Was Stitched Shut And Covered In Blood That Dripped Down Her Mouth And Onto Her Neck. Aruna Tied A Tight Knot At The End Of The Left Side Of Her Mouth For She Began Stitching At The Right. Her Eyes Still Tearing From The Pain But It Wasn’t Over. Far From Over, The Pain Had Just Begun. She Looked Around For The Old Hinges She Had Tore Off Harken’s Coffin. She Searched Through The Mud Until She Finally Found Them, She Looked At Them In Horror For She Felt Like She Couldn’t Control Herself Now. She Thrusted The Sharpest, And Most Rusted End Of The Hinges Into Her Eye Sockets, Gouging And Scrapping Out Her Eyes, She Tried To Scream, The Thread Stopping Her. The Pain Rushed Through Her, The Stitches Holding Back Her Screams Until The Thread Began To Break And Rip From Her Mouth, Her Screams Finally Echoing Through The Nameless Cemetery. As Soon As She Had Thought It All To Be Over She Fell Into Harkens Flesh Deprived Arms, Laying With His Corpse, In Her Final Moments Of Death, Harken Layon’s Ghost Had Been Standing Before Her Smiling With A Cigarette In His Mouth.

He Looked At Her Eyes On The Floor And Was Sad That She Couldn’t Really See Him For Her Eyes Been Glazed Over Now And Out Of Her Head. Aruna’s Soul Rised From Her Lifeless Body To See Harken’s Ghost Standing Next To Her For The Physical Torture She Had Inflicted On Herself Gone Now That She Is Dead. She Looked At Him And Cried Again, He Blew Cigarette Smoke In Her Face And Laughed As Both Their Souls Started To Fall Into The Darkness. Both Of Them Landing In A Familiar Place. Hell Is What Most Call It. Just As Aruna Had Imagined Hell, And Just As Harken Remembered It. The Devil Stood Before Them Almost As If To Be Passing Judgment. He Looked At Aruna And Said “Hello Darling, Isn’t It Tragic That You Died At The Same Time As The Meaning Of Your Name? Dawn. Almost As If It Was Destiny. Don’t You Think?” The Devil Laughed As He Took Aruna Into His Arms And Pierced The Flesh Of Her Chest With His Claws, Ripping Out Her Heart. “How’s It Feel To Die A Second Time Dawn!?” He Ate Her Heart And Threw Her Body Into His River Of Flames And Volcanic Fire, Ashes Raining Down On Them. Harken Stand Next To The Devil Bowing His Head. “Ashamed Of Her Harken?” Harken Laughed At The Devil’s Words “I Never Gave A Damn About That Girl, She Never Meant Anything To Me. I Cant Even Remember Her Name.” The Devil Laughed Demonically. “How Tragic. Broken Stitches For The Broken Heart, If She Had One Left That Is!” His Red Eyes Gleaming With Joy As He Watched Her Soul Burn And Harken’s Emotionless Face Grin With A Sense Of Satisfaction, Almost As If His Plan All Along Had Been Plotting Her Death. Her Suicide.

“Trapped Behind My State Of Mind, I’m Just A Fragment Of What You’ve Left Behind, I Took Your Word And Now I’m Blind And Everything You’ve Ever Gave Me Led Me To Your Grave And Mine…”

Aruna Whispered As Her Soul Burned Before The Eyes Of The Devil And Harken, Harken The Man She Loved And Sacrificed Herself To, Now Knowing That He Never Cared About Her, Never Meant Any Of The Things He Said. Never Caring About Aruna’s Feelings. Playing With Her Emotions, His Death Was His Plan All Along So He Could Mess With Aruna’s Mind, See How Long It Would Take For Her To Snap Without His “Kind” Words, His “Loving” Smiles, His “Warm” Laughter. He Took Everything Aruna Had Known And Loved And Twisted It Into His Own Little Game, His Master Plan To Kill The Girl He “Adored”. Death Was On His Mind, Death Was In His Blood, Death Had Taken Away Everything. Aruna’s Parents Didn’t Care She Existed, Harken Didn’t Care Either But Claimed He Did So He Could Drag Aruna Deep Into His Vicious Cycle Of Lie, His Plan… His Sick, Psychotic Plan. The Most Joy He’s Ever Had Was Seeing Aruna’s Tear Filled Eyes When She Saw Him After She Died And Then Seeing Her Get Tortured By The Devil, Only To Have Her Soul Burn So Her Could Smile And Laugh At It All. It Satisfied Him. It Filled The Void In His Heart Somehow. Seeing Her Suffer Made Him Happier Than He Had Ever Been While He Was Alive. He Wanted Her To Die And Be Controlled By Drugs More Than Anything. Why? Why Would He Ever Wish Something Upon Anyone Especially When He Knew The Pain It Would Cause Them? He Wanted To See Someone Suffer The Same Pain He Felt, He Wanted Someone First Hand To Not Only Understand His Feelings But Experience Them Also. Her Wanted Someone To Realize His Pain, The Plague That Tore Him Down And Broke His Heart. He Wanted Someone To Understand He Would Die And Drag That Person Down With Him, Sadly… Aruna Was The Victim And He Had Gotten What He Wanted Out Of Her. Everything He Planned For Aruna Was Just Apart Of His Ultimate Satisfaction. His Perfect Murder.

“Kiss Me, Kill Me, Love Me, Thrill Me Aruna!”