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Beloved Readers,

Just real quick, I want to tell you guys how nervous and screwed I am. Our OGT (Ohio Graduation Tests) come back today, and I really don't know how well or bad I did. Sure, we have two more tries at it, but damn...I'm just so nervous, my nails are torn to bits and my pens chewed through.

Sorry that I haven't been on, some major stuff went down.

Now, as you may have noticed, I haven't been complaining about my druggie-pill-popping 'depressed' mother. Why, you may ask? Because she found a good balance of medication, and has been awesome these last three weeks. Last weekend, though, all hell broke loose.

She was stumbling around, mumbling, makeing weird noises, and moving around like she was under water and too big for her skin. Grrr...please, don't get me started. Well, some words were exchanged and some punishments were made...well, let's just say: On Saturday night, I did nothing but stare at a wall because EVERYTHING had been taken away right down to my books. So I had to sit there, and act all crazy.

Finally, I decided to annoy her so I had a conversation with all my muses out loud. There's Jeana (my therapist, she's the newest), Karma (my muse of all things good), Connor (of all things bad), Silas (my muse of determination), and Tara (my teenage spirit) So I talked to all of them out loud until she gave me my books back to shut me up.

Maybe she wouldn't have gotten so pissed if my ********' Grandma (who takes just as much 'medication' as Mom) hadn't told Mummy-dearest everything I vented about how she wouldn't get a job and was lazy. I vent like that, everyone who knows me knows this, and then Gram went and told her everything over something as stupid as a cooler!!! An old cooler!!!! Dad tried to sell it, so Gram bitched to Mom and the mom popped all her pills and came home. One of these times she's gonna throw herself into a coma and...

*wipes away tears* I'm ********' cryin' over this, I hope their happy! I just yelled at Gram when she came in here and tried to love on me. I told her to back off, cause I don't hug on people who rat me out. She's out there crying now, and I don't give a ********. I really couldn't care less. Now I'm gonna get in trouble, and Mom probably won't let me go to Chelsey's either.

Good news, I'm getting away to Chelsey's this weekened and I won't see Mom till Tuesday. She won't let it go...she keeps bringing it up, and I'm seriously trying to hold back tears cause I'm tired of crying.

Anyway *sniffle* I haven't been on because I absolutely refused to come to Gram's. Now I know it was a bad idea, but I swear if she tells mom anything I said (THE TRUTH!!!!) I'll be grounded for ever and probably get smacked again.

Hiding from drugs and other horrible things that twist people,
Emono


"I am Jack's scream-shredded throat."